I would appreciate any feedback on the following essay:
Rhodes College prompt - Why Rhodes? (200 words)
The first thing that struck me about Rhodes was the sheer breadth of opportunities it offered - from access to a host of internships to diverse cultural activities in Memphis, it has everything to ensure that I have a holistic and meaningful college experience. I plan to double major in Computer Science and Environmental Studies (concentrating in environmental policy), and in this regard Rhodes would grant unparalleled opportunities - to interact with industry at the Telkom Center for Excellence, to conduct research in areas as different as parallel computing and security & networks, to conduct hands-on field work near the Mississippi river, and to learn about the functioning of non-profit organizations by participating in the Shelby Farms Park Conservancy internship program. The international approach at the College - where students work in countries as diverse as Bolivia and South Africa - also appeals to me due to the freedom to explore critical issues across the globe and gain insights from local solutions.
But most importantly, I choose Rhodes for the confidence to know that at the end of my college life I would not only be a better policy-maker and a better scientist; I would be a better human being.
(word count - 200)
Rhodes College prompt - Why Rhodes? (200 words)
The first thing that struck me about Rhodes was the sheer breadth of opportunities it offered - from access to a host of internships to diverse cultural activities in Memphis, it has everything to ensure that I have a holistic and meaningful college experience. I plan to double major in Computer Science and Environmental Studies (concentrating in environmental policy), and in this regard Rhodes would grant unparalleled opportunities - to interact with industry at the Telkom Center for Excellence, to conduct research in areas as different as parallel computing and security & networks, to conduct hands-on field work near the Mississippi river, and to learn about the functioning of non-profit organizations by participating in the Shelby Farms Park Conservancy internship program. The international approach at the College - where students work in countries as diverse as Bolivia and South Africa - also appeals to me due to the freedom to explore critical issues across the globe and gain insights from local solutions.
But most importantly, I choose Rhodes for the confidence to know that at the end of my college life I would not only be a better policy-maker and a better scientist; I would be a better human being.
(word count - 200)
