Any feedback would be helpful please. I understand im not the best writer, but any suggestions would help me out a great deal. Do i need to expand on any ideas here?
Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Seeing a flipped car to my left and a burning building to my right, my eyes focused on the Indonesian men in the distance as they slowly approached our vehicle. In the summer of 1998, my mother and I were caught in the Indonesian riots during the overthrow of the Suharto regime. Lower-class citizens of the country struck out towards the wealthy Chinese Indonesians, blaming them for various economic problems that the country faced. Living as Koreans in Indonesia, it was only a matter of time before we too would be mistaken as Chinese. The protesters soon climbed onto our car and screamed at us to get out. I listened to the sound of my mother desperately reasoning with the men and began to panic. Turning around in a reaction to the noise of a shattering window, I watched as the first of many metal rods smashed against our car. As broken pieces of glass flew through the air, I covered my head and screamed, praying that we would just make it out alive.
This was the world I came from, a world of social injustice. Living as a foreigner in the country of Indonesia, I had faced discrimination even as I walked through the streets. I recall one incident when a man looked at me, pulled back the corners of his eyes and yelled, "Ching chong chang!" Looking up at him, I realized that I was not being ridiculed for my clothes or my actions, but for my race. I came from a harsh world, where even young children were judged simply for looking a certain way. From the political instability I witnessed in the streets of Jakarta to the stories I heard from orphans of martyred parents in Maluku, everywhere I looked there seemed to be a form of injustice.
Years later, I began to grasp the reality of what I had seen that night. The concept of social injustice had always been just a vague idea to me, recognized solely through the dollar bills that I reluctantly dropped into donation boxes. However, recollecting my memories of that dark night, I began to grasp the injustices that this world contained. Many people died that night, innocently killed during the riots just for being Chinese, and I could have become a target just as easily. Social injustice wasn't just some intangible idea to which I was just a spectator, but something I had personally witnessed.
My experiences soon led me to involve myself in helping those who similarly struggled under this injustice. I began to take part in many mission trips, and periodically volunteered at Midnight Mission, where I served food to the homeless of downtown LA. Now, I ambitiously seek to take every opportunity and make a difference for the people in this world.
Prompt #1: Describe the world you come from - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Seeing a flipped car to my left and a burning building to my right, my eyes focused on the Indonesian men in the distance as they slowly approached our vehicle. In the summer of 1998, my mother and I were caught in the Indonesian riots during the overthrow of the Suharto regime. Lower-class citizens of the country struck out towards the wealthy Chinese Indonesians, blaming them for various economic problems that the country faced. Living as Koreans in Indonesia, it was only a matter of time before we too would be mistaken as Chinese. The protesters soon climbed onto our car and screamed at us to get out. I listened to the sound of my mother desperately reasoning with the men and began to panic. Turning around in a reaction to the noise of a shattering window, I watched as the first of many metal rods smashed against our car. As broken pieces of glass flew through the air, I covered my head and screamed, praying that we would just make it out alive.
This was the world I came from, a world of social injustice. Living as a foreigner in the country of Indonesia, I had faced discrimination even as I walked through the streets. I recall one incident when a man looked at me, pulled back the corners of his eyes and yelled, "Ching chong chang!" Looking up at him, I realized that I was not being ridiculed for my clothes or my actions, but for my race. I came from a harsh world, where even young children were judged simply for looking a certain way. From the political instability I witnessed in the streets of Jakarta to the stories I heard from orphans of martyred parents in Maluku, everywhere I looked there seemed to be a form of injustice.
Years later, I began to grasp the reality of what I had seen that night. The concept of social injustice had always been just a vague idea to me, recognized solely through the dollar bills that I reluctantly dropped into donation boxes. However, recollecting my memories of that dark night, I began to grasp the injustices that this world contained. Many people died that night, innocently killed during the riots just for being Chinese, and I could have become a target just as easily. Social injustice wasn't just some intangible idea to which I was just a spectator, but something I had personally witnessed.
My experiences soon led me to involve myself in helping those who similarly struggled under this injustice. I began to take part in many mission trips, and periodically volunteered at Midnight Mission, where I served food to the homeless of downtown LA. Now, I ambitiously seek to take every opportunity and make a difference for the people in this world.