Robotics - essay about how MIT align with my goals.

How does MIT align with your goals?

(e.g., academic, personal, career, extracurricular, etc.)

Since I was in ninth grade, I have known that I want to change the world through robotics. Due that, my biggest goal is to be the type of engineer who together with a team (it is very difficult to change the world alone) can implement solutions to problems of the real world. MIT is known for the good relations between their students and companies, and the amount of research resources that are available for the ones that take the initiative and work for them. MIT sandbox is the perfect chance for my goal of founding my own company not only due the funding, but also because of the mentoring it offers to entrepreneur students

Having that opportunities will allows me to start my own company or work in one that aligns with my dreams.
Robotics is my greatest passion, and although it has a lot of theoretical knowledge, in order to develop useful robots, it's necessary to have practical knowledge and apply it. Classes such as 2.009, 2.007 or 2.12 allows the students to be real world engineers. They prepare students with the knowledge and real experience to create successful products, develop real world solutions and some real robotic problems.

With all these things, the team-work education MIT offers and the passion I have for robotics, I will be the kind of engineer that will change the world.

a) Do you think i answer the question property?
b) Do you think i align MIT with my goals or that i only described MIT?
c) Are there grammar or syntax errors?
Thank you so much

Dear Dane, I suggest you should imagine if any other students could write in the same content as yours. There are thousands of students applying to MIT every year and I think your essay is hard to be stand out. I think you should describe more about your dream rather than only describe it as a "robotics dream". Some questions you can brainstorm: What fields do you want to invent your robots (medical, architecture, education...), and Why do you want to invent robots in that field.

Try to think that every sentence you write would level up your image in the admission committee's eyes, or they would not bring you any values. I hope you could make your essay more memorable.

Wish you achieve your dream, Dane!

You have shown that you understand the history of MIT. You have not shown that MIT aligns with your goals on an academic, personal, and social level. Since this is a word limited essay, you will need to start with a totally new presentation. Pick the strongest goal that you have for choosing MIT. Compare your goals with the history, mission, and objectives of the university. Where do your paths meet with MIT? These meeting of the paths / minds that you have with MIT should be the focus of the response.Your presentation is merely repeating what the reviewer already knows thoroughly about MIT, so your response is not of use to him. It doesn't tell him how you might excel as a student at MIT and how MIT can support you as a student and future professional. Find the commonalities between your vision as a student and your professional goals in relation to MIT.