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My role model is my father; University of Michigan / Unique qualities



wolverineboy 2 / 3  
Dec 28, 2012   #1

Father Role Model



My role model and father, is a mathematically inclined accountant who has inspired me for years. I followed his footsteps, in hopes of becoming like him, by making Mathematics a primary subject as I went through primary school. When I was mature enough to think without ice-cream crossing my mind, I realized my hard work was not enough to reach the heights I had set for myself; to be greater than Einstein in Mathematics. A dream like this may seem unrealistic but climbing the Academic ladder in two different countries opened my eyes to see that anything is possible.

The vision I had to attend the University of Michigan became clearer when I moved to Michigan. The college of Literature, Science and Arts to me is like the "Golden Gate" to pursue Actuarial and Financial Mathematics to become the person I set out to be the minute I was brought into this world. I have waited so long for an opportunity to explore a variety of courses that will equip me for the future ahead of me, the college of Literature, Science and Arts sets this on a silver platter for me.

To be honest, I do not only desire to go to the University of Michigan to get a degree in Actuarial and Financial Mathematics, I also take it as an opportunity to make acquaintances with people from different rocks of life. My grandmother always said; "Hands go, Hands come, meaning; at some point in time, we will need someone and someone will need us. I always take this as a reason to be make good friendships as I never know when I might be in need. The University of Michigan, as a school with a diverse community attracts me even more as it serves a ground for me to start life all over and transit completely into college life.

The college of Literature, Science and Arts with its numerous courses will also train me indirectly to become more responsible and shun procrastination. As a senior in high school, and a brother to two very energetic sisters, I see myself as a light to shine in their path. I know that it is my duty to set a good example for them. How better can I do this if not to attend one of the best universities in the world and actually set out in the path I told them I would?

When I am accepted into the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor to pursue Actuarial and Financial Mathematics in the college of Literature, Science and Arts, my life will be positively changed forever. I will make sure not only to make a change in my life mathematically-wise, but also in the lives of the staff and students and to be an active member in the wolverine family.

mzontario 9 / 43  
Dec 28, 2012   #2
Good but why are words like Math and Accounting always caps?

To be honest, I do not only desire to go to the University of Michigan to get a degree in Actuarial and Financial Mathematics,

Don't say 'to be honest.'

my life will be positively changed forever
^ Kind of cheesy.
Bighall 3 / 18  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
Good essay. But I think it is a little bit generic. Why UMichi is the "Golden Gate" for you rather than other top universities ? Numerous courses and diverse campus are the characteristics of most of the universities in US. So you should specify why UMichi is the most suitable college for you. Address some unique characteristics other than general ones.
rosieish 3 / 9  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
It is a very good essay overall, but as Bighall said as well, it is too general. The prompt asks you to write how the curriculum in UMich would support you interest which means you should research about its specific program relevant to your interested major that you find supportive and beneficial for your pursuit. I also applied to UMich, but we are different though i applied to Ross BBA program, however, as I find Ross school has its special features such as its action-based learning program, Tozzi Finance center, I'm sure if you go on to UMich website, you can find special features about Umich's the college of arts and sciences as well:) Do more research:)

Also, you say UMich will "change your life forever" and its the "golden gate", and I think you are being a bit careless and impetuous on the wording. If you really think UMich is your dream dream school, you should definitely provide more evidence to prove your statement-show Umich's UNIQUENESS. Otherwise, don't be too absolute here.

If you have time..please take a look at my NYU essay (NYU essay: My interest in economics)
THANK YOU<3


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