"RUN" The prospect of running cross country and track in high school - Essay on Risk I have taken

I would appreciate any and all feedback..the harsher the better.

RUNNING - Describe a risk you have taken.

On paper, the value of risk is measurable and therefore requires thought and precision. However, when applied to life the outcomes of risks become hazy; the negative possibilities tend to play on our vulnerabilities. Often times, the fear of uncertainty causes people to remain ignorant to the potential positive effects of taking a risk. To combat this "fear of uncertainty" I developed a skill; I regularly used logic when faced with tough decision rather than allowing my emotions to cloud my judgment. I firmly believed that the use of reason alone would enable me to make the most decisive decisions possible.

"Run." The prospect of running cross country and track in high school weighed heavily on my consciousness. The remarkable reality of high school was glaring enough, but the idea of a daily commitment and exhaustion became overwhelming to me. Could I in due course, become a high school senior who would not only grow to become a young adult, but also develop into a successful athlete? Or, would my risk taking lead to my downfall? Would my athletic abilities pale in comparison to my desired expectations? The insecurities surrounding my athletic skills and my heavy reliance on reason stood as a major deterrent, which ultimately kept me from participating in the first season of cross country.

It was not until I chose not to run cross country that I realized my method for making decisions was flawed. My emotions was not clouding my judgment, but rather my logic was overshadowing my instincts. Do not knock something until you try it; a simple rule: yes, but like many lessons we must come to these worldly conclusions in our own time. The first day of spring track remains at the forefront of my mind every time I glance at our track. Rain began to pour down on us just as practiced commenced. The workout was eight two hundreds and I was anxious to start. I lined up on the starting line with five other runners, also freshman. We came around the bends in packs, our arms flailing with inexperience, some more than others. Sweat and rain mixed streaming down our faces. By the end of the workout we were overwrought with exhaustion, our legs looked worn and fragile and our breathing was heavy and hoarse. It was my first day of practice and I had already wanted to give up, but I knew only time and effort would tell if I had made the right choice.

Was the risk of failing worth the value of the end result? I have become the runner, the scholar, the person, that I had longed to become years ago. My accomplished high school career as a track and cross country runner was my desired result; it was the outcome that I wished for. However, the truly unexpected value of the risk I took as a freshman ended up being the friendships that came along with running on my team. They were the same kids who stood next to me on the day of sign-ups, attempting to weigh their options just as I had. I had only considered myself when I chose to run track, if I had added my teammates in this complex formula for making a decision, it would have ceased to be a risk, but rather the opportunity of a lifetime, and that is exactly what it was. I learned to become part of the process for others. I shared the fears, the uncertainties that I had as a freshman with my younger teammates. So when those freshmen ask their captain the same questions I had asked myself, I respond "Run."

It is the balance of logic and instincts that I am most proud of. Reason-, taught me to generate conclusions based on rational thinking, while my instincts taught me to go with my gut, to rely on my feeling even if I did not feel comfortable doing so. Understanding this balance has been a worth while discovery. My refined way of thinking and handling situations has fostered my capabilities as a leader. I now know that the impact of my experience will be applicable to the new challenges and obstacles that stand to come, as I venture to new places.

"On paper, the value of risk is measurable and therefore requires thought and precision. However, when applied to life the outcomes of risks become hazy; the negative possibilities tend to play on our vulnerabilities."

"Reason, taught me to generate conclusions based on rational thinking, while my instincts taught me to go with my gut, to rely on my feeling even if I did not feel comfortable doing so."

There is little that needs to be corrected. I personally like your voice in this, but try to analyze what your audience will be. If this is your professor or class, people you at least know somewhat. In contrast, if this is an essay to people you do not know at all, then try revising the essay to sound more professional. Try looking at some autobiographies if you aren't sure how to continue.

Good luck!

Oftentimes is usually one word, not two.

...fear of uncertainty causes people to (remain ignorant to the potential positive effects of taking a risk) This seems like an overly complex way to say what you are saying. Can't you just say uncertainty makes people miss opportunities?

...to make the most decisive decisions possible.----maybe it is not quite right to say decisive decisions. I think the word you are going for here is 'effective.' But then again, decisiveness is closely related to what you are talking about, so maybe you could say, 'to be as decisive as possible.'

"Run." The prospect of running cross country and track in high school weighed heavily on my consciousness. ----This confused me. A transition sentence can help.

A balance of logic and instincts is the strength of which I am proudest.

Reason-, taught Logic enables me to generate ...

:-)