Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


They say that I'm the one who does crazy stuff with Electricity; Tell us about who you are essay



Nishantfizz 1 / -  
Dec 8, 2018   #1
Hello, I am currently writing an essay for UBC Vancouver and need your help in checking the essay.
TOPIC: Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

busy, mad scientist



If you ask someone who is Nischay, they would probably say "Are you talking about the one who does crazy stuff with Electricity" or "you mean the Electrician." To my friends, I am a person who is like a mad scientist and is always busy doing some weird experiments. But I think myself as an innovator who wants to contribute to the good of humankind. I may not be perfect in every task that I perform, for instance, I am not brilliant in Chemistry, I commit many errors in Physical Chemistry, but I can say that I am a hard working person and always learn something from my mistakes. I try to improve myself with every new challenge that I encounter. My teachers regard me as a diligent and obedient student who is always ready to help his friends. My tennis coach recognizes me as a person who though fails, but with every failure, he rises with even more strength. In my free time, I mostly make electronic projects or conduct experiments, and this thing has made me develop the ability to think outside the box. I participated in national science exhibition and right before the judges were about to come, my project stopped working, there was some fault in one of the circuit components, and after many tries, I finally managed to make the project work by recalibrating the circuit. My ability to think outside the box helped me at that time, and I am most proud of it.

Thank you for your valuable time.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15370  
Dec 9, 2018   #2
Oops! Nischay, you were off to a good start till you got to the part after your friend's description of who you are. This is a not a first person essay, this is a second person representation of your strengths as a person, along with a reference to your strong and weak points as others see it (if possible). There are also 2 missing reference points in this essay. You are not telling the reviewer who you are as a child from your parents point of view (these could be related to a character discussion focusing on your strengths as a child and a comical look at what drives your parents crazy about you), and the community (this could be the discussion that could relate to the first person reference of something you are proud of about yourself). Revise the essay to showcase the addition of the 2 missing references to better address the prompt requirements.


Home / Undergraduate / They say that I'm the one who does crazy stuff with Electricity; Tell us about who you are essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳