hey everyone, this is one of my supplements. please help me make it better and give me any feedback you have. be harsh. also help me cut it down a bit. help me and i will help you. xoxo.
the prompt is :Tell us about an experience in which you left your comfort zone. How did this experience change you?
The Point of Focus
As I stand, the heat crawls up my legs, into my trunk and slowly rises up to my head like a glass fills with water. Blood gushes through my cheeks and renders them red. It is suddenly very hot, and yet my feet are shivering. I try to balance myself but I could not be bothered much about how my feet are acting right now, I have to concentrate on what is coming out of my mouth. However, all the effort that has been put into straining my arm from moving as violently as my feet is taking away the focus from my purpose. And there it was, my first mistake- I pronounce "English" as "Englis".
When I joined the IB program, I was not aware of the kind of learning that I was going to pursue. Coming from a normal Nepali school where theoretical one-sided learning is popular, presentations were not the first thing that came to my mind when the word learning was spelled.
I am one who finds comfort in sitting in class- uncalled and unnoticed. While attention can please me at times, it mostly makes me want to hide my face. Being everyone's point of focus and having the spotlight shine on me intimidates me. And so every time the word "presentation" popped up in class, a frown could be detected in my face.
For my first presentation for English class, my rules were simple- hold the paper in your hands, fix your gaze to the paper, avoid making eye contact with the audience or even looking anywhere except the paper and finally, read as fast as you can. I was not even ready to read from the slides for fear of making a mistake and a fool out of myself in front of twenty students. I read word for word from the paper and still the anxiety fiddled with my pronunciation. The only thought in my mind was "Be done with it as soon as possible".
The second experience was pretty much the same, except that I had memorized every word I would say per slide instead of holding a paper in my hand. The heat never left me and nervousness was always my companion. The third and the fourth times were also not different. However, every time I gave a presentation I did improve even if it was a little bit.
My real transformation occurred at the end of my first year in IB. I had an assessment called the Internal Oral Presentation(IOP) for my English Literature class that counted for my real grades. The slides were ready, I had practiced a few times but I was still nervous. This time was different though because I did not memorize what I would say word for word. This was not because I did not have time but because I was challenging myself. This time I was going to believe in myself. Normally I would say to myself, "Get it over with as soon as you can" and would want to go first but this time, I decided to go last. The whole day, everyone gave their presentations while I let my anxiety build. The feeling, I vividly remember was nerve wrecking. The way the pitch of the sound narrows down as you fill a bottle with water- that was how I felt as the time for my presentation neared up. When finally my turn came up, I did fine.
Although there were a few pronunciation mistakes and a few pauses, there was one thing I learned that day. I learned that the more you give in to your fears, the more fearful you become. Every time I gave a presentation I would look for ways in which I would make the least mistakes and my fear for presentations always grew because of this. That day, I faced my fear. I might have frozen, I might have not known what to say, but on that day I did not let my fear make me look for shortcuts. I learned that anxiety, if pointed at the right direction could benefit me. I still become nervous today while giving a presentation, but today I can use the nervousness to my benefit. I do not allow my anxiety to overwhelm me, instead, I control it.
What I learned that day made me look at my fears in a different way. It not only made me stronger but also made my upcoming presentations a lot better. And thus, at the end of IB, I was the student who received the highest score for the IOP and the TOK presentation.
As I stand, the heat crawls up my legs, into my trunk and slowly rises up to my head like a glass fills with water.
.... hey ... you get us to feel the exact nervousness :D.... Very good!
Coming from a normal Nepali school where theoretical one-sided learning is popular, presentations were not the first thing that came to my mind when the word learning was spelled.
Coming from an average Nepali school which concentrated more on theoretical academic learning while giving very low priority for academic applications, the word "presentation" had no place in my whole vocabulary. .... I can understand :D
