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"School for Learners"; Stanford Supp - Intellectual Vitality

kellyjanemartin 3 / 18 2  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
Hey there! This is the first draft of my intellectual vitality essay for Stanford. I haven't gone back to edit or anything yet--this is just what I whipped out at midnight last night. Any thoughts or corrections would be appreciated!!

As a bouncing seven year-old kid, I explored my universe with a notebook and a magnifying glass. More than anything else, I wanted to touch the world around me, to share in whispers its deepest secrets. I didn't want to care about my grades in school-the most important thing was that I walked out of class more knowledgeable than when I walked in-but I cared nevertheless. I regularly fantasized about a dream school in which teachers didn't have to test us to make sure we were paying attention-the entire student body would be composed of kids like me, who truly desired to investigate their world without the barriers of traditional education.

The idea had lingered unspoken in my mind for years when, on one sunny mid-August morning, I discovered my best friend Nora shared the same dream. We began to plot. Over our picnic lunch, we planned this fantastic institution, a haven for the very learners and dreamers that are labeled "nerds" in conventional schools. No curriculum would be set in stone-the students would study according to their developing interests and see where it takes them. A student's concurrent interests in mechanical engineering and fashion design could be nurtured to their fullest extent, rather than extinguishing one to cultivate the other. Focus would be on the student and on the subjects he or she found beautiful. And, lastly, as my seven year-old self would savor, there would be knowledge, progress, and discovery without the oppressive rule of report cards.

As Nora and I delved into our potential world, I realized that we couldn't be the only ones harboring this idea. There had to be others, and we only needed to find them. Together, we could develop a real-world version of our fantasy. We could provide future generations with the most meaningful and relevant learning experience to their own lives. We would let them dictate their own education, and, for once, the curious little minds of the world would claim victory.

Thank you so much!! Leave a link so I can reciprocate!!
sunny_joy 4 / 16 7  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
Its a very interesting story for sure! I would just make more connections to your current self, and what you currently do about this curiosity. Good luck!
503dannyk 8 / 25 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
This is written very well and I liked it a lot. But I think you should talk a little more about how your story relates to your intellect. Explain why this was important for the development of your intellect as asked for by the prompt. Do that, and I think your cake.

Look at my Stanford essay if you have the chance.
OP kellyjanemartin 3 / 18 2  
Dec 30, 2012   #4
Oops, totes thought I posted it with the essay. Here it is:

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #5
I agree with him^! Your third draft is remarkable.

@HarvardAccept, do you think you could edit my intellectual vitality essay? By the way, are you by any chance from Baton Rouge?
HarvardAccept - / 57 24  
Dec 31, 2012   #6
HAHAHHAHAHA HI RESHMA!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god!!!

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