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Science Exhibition: the life changer



Dibakar0207 1 / 1  
May 21, 2022   #1

Science Exhibition: the life changer



Waking up late,checking my phone,searching for new massages going to tution classes,attending school,playing online mobile games and then going to sleep.I lived life like a useless person with no dreams and no interests.On such a day i notification ringed on my mobile and i checked upon it my school principal texted "OUR SCHOOL GOING TO ORGANISE A SCHOOL LEVEL SCIENCE FAIR",i was curious about it as i wanted to do something to impress my crush.I immediately contacted my science tutor.And i expressed my desire to participate in the science fair,seeing this as an opportunity my tutor discussed some ideas of him about different science models and their workings that sparked desire in me "how things work".I was never that much interested in science before that incident.And i started watching Youtube and tried to understand some basics of physics,i wanted to excell in that science fair and gained some basic knowledge about physics chemistry and mathematics,i came up with an idea " How to obtain different chemical products from burning plastics and use it for different industrial purposes".My science tutor was delighted that i came up with an idea and after discussing about the science model.My tutor and I started to design the science model for the science fair,and after 7 days of work we finally were able to complete the science model.And finally the day of school level science fair came and 3 exhibition model investigator checked my science project and asked several questions and i answered them without any hesitation.Another science project was there that was also very good and after all those hours of exhibition finally it was the time to declare the winners.Our school had invited city mayor to announce the winners.Only one science project was to be selected from 27 science projects and top 10 were getting prize in the school,first 8 winners were declared and i was disappointed that after that much of work i was not able to make it.Then,the city mayor wanted to declare the winner,there was astonishing suspense and i had lost all my hopes of winning.And out of nowhere,our city mayor said "The winner of the 1st prize is DIBAKAR ROY",I started to cry and everyone was screaming that was like a dream come true for me then i went on the stage to receive the prize.After that,i represented my school in District level science fair and competed with 50 other science project from all over our city.It was a 3 day exhibition.Hence,i prepared for all the things that was going to be asked in district level science fair.After 3 days the results were declared and i again got the 1st position in District level science fair.And top 10 science projects were selected to represent district in state level exhibition in the capital city.On state level out of 230 science projects only 10 had to be selected for National level and i got 5th postion and represented my state in National level science exhibition.In that science exhibition scientist and researchers described their works and i was influenced by a physics researcher.After all these,when i reached home from Delhi after National level science exhibition the was obsessed with physics,i stared at everything around me and linked tried to link everything with physics.I loved physics like nothing else and discussed various hypothesis of famous scientist.There was a friend of mine ,his name is Hrishav, one day we started discussion on physics and jumped on bhagwat gita and discussed physics related to it,we even discussed how shiva dance was related to "Quantum dance of matter". From quantum particles to what happens at event horizon of blackhole,i got interested in every physics phenomenon taking place near me.And willing to learn more and more things in physics from best faculties over the world.

From being useless.The science fair event led the change in me and be the person who is curious and learn about new things

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15400  
May 22, 2022   #2
I am not sure what the purpose of writing this essay is. Since there is no prompt provided and the title used is not self- explanatory, it will be difficult to review this essay in terms of response and narration validity. While difficult, it is not impossible to provide a simple review of the essay. That is what I shall be providing to the poster. Use it as you will.

Provide a better reading format for the reader. Use paragraphs to seperate the topics based on the need for an introduction, body, and closing statement / conclusion. It is difficult to read and remember the content of the writing without it.

The backstory pertaining to the development of interest in Physics needs more focus. The reality is that the previous character of the writer and how this changing interest improved him is unclear. The writing is choppy in that aspect. The essay is basically composed of i'll developed draft topics and a rushed presentation. None of which are beneficial to the current version. It would be best to take these ideas and redevelop them into a more informative presentation based on the provided prompt.
OP Dibakar0207 1 / 1  
May 22, 2022   #3
@Holt
Thanks for reviewing my essay.I am willing to apply for US top schools next november.And i am willing to write an essay on character development for the common app.I have just prepared a rough essay.I will take your advice and improve the essay.


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