scientists and poets; knowledge; direction - my personal statement for Ph.D program

I recently apply for the Ph.D program.
Because my native language is not English, I woult like to know what you think about this article.
Will the part about Genghis Khan antagonize the readers? You know, some people believes Khan antagonize was an invader.
Is the frame of the article reasonable? Is there any part should be extended or cut?

Please tell me about your opinions.
Thank you very much.

Merry Christmas!
Best wishes to you and your loves.

Statement of Purpose

Curiosity creates scientists and poets. ---Anatole France
I was born in a remote town of Inner Mongolia of China, the hometown of Genghis Khan, a famous politician and adventurer who led his people across Eurasia, from Far East to Rhine. Living in the prairie for many years, I began to be curious about the outside world. I still remember that at age of seven, one early morning I ambitiously set off by myself to find out what exactly exists beyond the horizon of the vast prairie. But even until the sunset, I was still as far as before to the boundary of the world, and what's worse, I lost myself on the prairie. Fortunately, my father found me and took me home. The failure of my naive venturing out into the world didn't discourage me, but, contrarily, galvanized me to explore the unknown in a more intelligent manner.

As I grew up, I became more and more interested in science and technology. In the fall of 2004I studied very hard and got admission into Xi'an Jiaotong University in fall of 2004, an "Ivy League" university in China, as the first 1st place of my high school and one of the 36 successful candidates from my province. When I came to this university alone, 1126 kilometers far away from my hometown, joy overwhelmed me while I saw thousands tremendous numbers of good excellent books on the selves of the library. In the sea of knowledge, I started my swimming happily.

Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch. ---Ivern Ball

In the university, I was thirsty for everything new. I chose Mechanical Engineering as my major and worked very hard. Apart from my major, I also selected Economics as my minor subject to learn the philosophy and principles of market, economy and society; I took the classes of Japanese and German to be exposed to different culture. I also worked as a minister in the Student Union and the monitor in my class to learn the art of leadership; I learnt basketball, tennis and roller skating to understand physical activities and sports spirit; I even learnt dancing and playing harmonica, attempting to enjoy myself in the realm of art. In retrospect, during my undergraduate period, I learnt just as a newborn baby - be free from a backwater, be curious about many things, and treasured every moment and every opportunity to learn new knowledge.

The more one learned, the more he wants to learn. After four years study in the undergraduate school, I found I was fascinated by robots, machine tools, control methods, and other interesting subjects in the realm of engineering. Thus I applied for the master program in our university. Fortunately, in September 2008, I was admitted into the Information & Mechatronics laboratory, exempt from the Graduate Student Examination because of my excellent academic performance, exactly in the top 5%.

In the graduate school, I concentrated myself with continuous curiosity and enthusiasm on the fields of robot control, signal processing and machine diagnose. In Sep., 2008, I participated a group aiming to design an electronic whiteboard based on infra radiation camera imagery. In 2009, I also researched on parallel robots, in which I mainly programmed part of the control algorithms. And since 2008, I have been working on the detection of wheel-rail faults based on its noise, which needs much work on signal processing, arithmetic improvement and embedded system designing. Actually, one of my papers about the wavelet threshold denoising has been accepted by a journal.

The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. ---Oliver Wendell Holmes
Now as an outstanding graduate student, I am standing at a crossroad of my career. To be an engineer with high salary in a big company such as ABB and GE, or to be a researcher leading an austere life but working in an interesting area? I steadfastly choose the later, although most of my classmates choose the prior; I want to be a professor in China to impart my knowledge to the young students and lead them to continue my exploring steps just as my respectable teachers do; I prefer to be a scientist to explore the charming unknown in robot rearch- how to make robots act as our human beings flexibly, coordinately, intelligently and so on. Hence here I apply for the PhD program about vision based control of robot manipulator in the Computer Vision and Active Perception Laboratory (CVAP) of KTH.

KTH attracts me not only because of her great reputation, but also due to her diversity of culture. Also, CVAP of KTH is the ideal place for my future study because of its cutting-edge research and wonderful contribution in its area. Prof. Patric Jensfelt's A Realistic Benchmark For Visual Indoor Place Recognition and Prof. Stefan Carlsson's Projective Factorization of Planes and Cameras in Multiple Views are pretty inspiring. I hope I could have the opportunity to work with them.

There is still a very long way ahead for me to go. I wish I could share the joy of exploration with you on my way to the truth. I will always hold my intensive curiosity and adventurous spirit and continue my faith:

It is more valuable to seek truth than to own it. ---Nicolaus Copernicus

Is my article too long to be read?
Why there is no one to give me some advices? TOT

Any opinion will be appreciated...
Thank you ... :)

Curiosity creates scientists and poets.
-Anatole France

I was born in athe remote town of Inner Mongolia of China, the hometown of Genghis Khan, a famous politician and adventurer who led his people across Eurasia, from the Far East to Rhine. Living in the prairie for many years, I started to become curious about the outside world. I still remember that one early morning, when I was seven, I ambitiously set off by myself to find out what exactly exists beyond the horizon of the vast prairie. I wandered until sunset, but I was still just as far from the boundary of my world, and worse yet, I lost myself in the prairie. Fortunately, my father found me and took me home. The failure of my naive venturing out into the world didn't discourage me, but, contrarily, galvanized me to explore the unknown in a more intelligent manner.

As I grew up, I became more and more interested in science and technology. I studied very hard and as a result ranked first in my high school. In the fall of 2004, I became one of 36 successful candidates in my province to receive admission to Xi'an Jiaotong University, an "Ivy League" university in China. When I arrived at my university, 1126 kilometers away from my hometown, I was overwhelmed with joy when I saw thousands of excellent books on the selves of the library. In the sea of knowledge, I started my swimming happily.

Knowledge is power, but enthusiasm pulls the switch.
-Ivern Ball

During university, I was thirsty to try something new. I chose Mechanical Engineering as my major and worked very hard. For my minor, I selected Economics in order to learn the philosophy and principles of the market, economy and society. I took Japanese and German language courses to expose myself to different cultures. I involved myself in the Student Union, where I was a minister, and was the monitor in my class, which helped me to learn the art of leadership. I learned basketball, tennis and roller skating to better understand physical activities and sportsmanship; I even learned how to dance and play the harmonica, in an attempt to experience the realm of art. In retrospect, during my undergraduate period, I learned just like newborn baby does - I was free from a backwater???, curious about many things, and treasured every moment and every opportunity to gain new knowledge.

The more one learns, the more he wants to learn. After four years study in the undergraduate program, I found that I was fascinated by robots, machine tools and control methods. Thus I applied for the master program at Xi'an Jiaotong University. Fortunately, in September 2008, I was admitted to the Information & Mechatronics program, and was exempted from the Graduate Student Examination because of my excellent academic performance, which was exactly in the top five percent.

In graduate school, I stayed concentrated using my continuous curiosity and enthusiasm for fields of robot control, signal processing and machine diagnose. In September 2008, I participated a group aiming to design an electronic whiteboard based on infra radiation camera imagery. In 2009, I also researched parallel robots, during which I programmed part of the control algorithms. Since 2008 I have been working on the detection of wheel-rail faults based on noise, which requires a focus on signal processing, arithmetic improvement and embedded system designing. As a result of my research, I was able to write a paper on wavelet threshold denoising, which was accepted by (INSERTJOURNALNAMEHERE).

The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. -Oliver Wendell Holmes

As an outstanding graduate student, I am standing at a crossroad of my career. I am faced with the decision to be an engineer with companies such as ABB and GE, or to become a researcher, leading an austere life but working in an interesting area. I steadfastly choose the later, although most of my classmates choose the prior; I want to be a professor in China to impart my knowledge to the young students and lead them to continue my exploring steps just as my respectable teachers do. I prefer to be a scientist that explores the charming unknown in robot research and help make robots act as flexibly as human beings, with intelligence and coordination. Hence I am applying for the PhD program about vision based control of robot manipulator in the Computer Vision and Active Perception Laboratory (CVAP) of KTH(EXPAND KTH ONCE AND THEN YOU MAY ABBREVIATE IT).

KTH attracts me not only because of its great reputation, but also due to its diversity of culture. CVAP of KTH is the ideal place for my future study because of its cutting-edge research and wonderful contribution in its field. Prof. Patric Jensfelt's "A Realistic Benchmark For Visual Indoor Place Recognition" and Prof. Stefan Carlsson's "Projective Factorization of Planes and Cameras in Multiple Views" are very inspiring. I hope I could have the opportunity to work with them.

There is still a very long way for me to go. On the way to truth, I hope that I too can share the joy of exploration. I will always tightly hold my intensive curiosity and adventurous spirit as I continue my faith.

It is more valuable to seek truth than to own it.
-Nicolaus Copernicus

Basically, I changed a LOT of stuff in the bold, please re-read it carefully and make sure that the way that I changed some of it is indeed the way you meant it. Also the stuff in all capital letters is stuff that you need to add.

Overall good essay, you seem very very determined, and I hope everything goes as you plan : )

j3llyf1sh
Thanks for your reply.
It does help me a lot.
I appreciate it very much.

Best wishes to you in the new year.

j3llyf1sh, and every one, I just revised my first paragraph, but I don't know if it becomes better.
Could you give some opinions?
I will appreciate it very much.

The revised version:

One morning, in a remote town of Inner Mongolia of China, about a thousand years later after the famous politician and adventurer, Genghis Khan, led his people across Eurasia, from the Far East to Rhine, a seven-year-old little boy ambitiously set off by himself just with the dew to find out what exactly exists beyond the horizon of the vast prairie. He wandered until sunset, but he was still just as far from the boundary of his world. Worse yet, he lost himself in the prairie. Fortunately, his father found him and took him home. This little boy was me. Although my naïve venture out into the world was fail, it didn't discourage me; contrarily, it galvanized me to explore the unknown in a more intelligent manner.

The original version:

I was born in the remote town of Inner Mongolia of China, hometown of Genghis Khan, a famous politician and adventurer who led his people across Eurasia, from the Far East to Rhine. Living in the prairie for many years, I started to become curious about the outside world. I still remember that one early morning, when I was seven, I ambitiously set off by myself to find out what exactly exists beyond the horizon of the vast prairie. I wandered until sunset, but I was still just as far from the boundary of my world, and worse yet, I lost myself in the prairie. Fortunately, my father found me and took me home. The failure of my naive venturing out into the world didn't discourage me, but, contrarily, galvanized me to explore the unknown in a more intelligent manner.

Here is a small change I would like to make, but the essay is not so awkward! :-)

One morning, in a remote town of Inner Mongolia in China, about a thousand years later after the famous ...

Oh, this is a very clever way to explain it! I like your idea... here is a small change you can make: Although my naïve venture out into the world was unsuccessful, it didn't discourage me; contrarily it galvanized me to explore the unknown in a more intelligent manner.

Awesome!

Thank you, Kevin.

You encouraged me very much.

And I also would like to know whether my essay is too long. Because I find many other essays in this forum is not so long.

Thank you.