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After scrutinizing abundant number of colleges all over United States, I came up with Virginia Tech



Scarecrow 1 / 1  
Jan 10, 2016   #1
SOP for Virginia Tech

Hello there!
I am applying to Virginia Tech and I just need someone to help me and have a look at one of the essays I have written. Any criticism/help would be appreciated! Thanks. (My biggest problems are grammar and vocabulary)

What are the top five reasons you want to be a Hokie? [250 words]

When choosing a college for one of the most important stages of my life, I look at all aspects, from academic to living. After scrutinizing abundant number of colleges all over the United States, I came up with Virginia Tech. The school is ideal for me in all aspects.

One of the most important reasons is that Virginia Tech will provide me a pathway to success. Virginia Tech's constant encouragement for participating in various projects and a curriculum which incorporates public service and leadership qualities is an absolutely perfect for me. Moreover, the very fact that Virginia tech has Nobel Prize winners such as Professor Robert C. Richardson assures me that Virginia Tech is one of a kind university. Excellent students in both academic and extracurricular activities are another wonderful thing about the school. The competitiveness at the university will allow me to utilize my full potential and will also allow me to learn a lot from other students. Moreover, the rich diversity at Virginia Tech will allow me to learn all the different customs of the world and more importantly will encourage me to share India's exclusive culture. The final and most important reason is the elite engineering and computer science programs which will help me transform from a naïve high school boy to a proficient programmer.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 10, 2016   #2
Dhruv, the main problem with your essay is that you are discussing an abstract interpretation of why you chose Virginia Tech. You listed down, if I am right, a total of 6 reasons why you chose Virginia Tech instead of the required 5. You are supposed to choose only 5 reasons for picking this university and all of those reasons require you to do research on the university. The purpose of this prompt, is to show the reviewer that you understand the requirements and demands made of a Virginia Tech student and that you are committed to embodying the best of the university.

What you have to do is first, list down the 5 main reasons you opted to seek enrollment at the university. If you run a Google search on the topic, you will actually find websites that refer to those actual 5 reasons that various students have used. Pick the ones that reflect your interests or are similar to your reasons the most and then develop your original essay around the inspiration that the students before you provided :-)
OP Scarecrow 1 / 1  
Jan 10, 2016   #3
Okay. Thank you so much!
fahmisadja 33 / 33  
Jan 10, 2016   #4
Hi there,

let me attempt to comment on your essay. I didn't find any grammatical error on your essay, while you should fix your content.

In my opinion, first step that you have to do is conducting research in Virginia Tech by visiting its website. You can see more specific program that you really expect. After that, just make it relate to your interest and then explain how essential this program for your goal.

for example this sentence :

One of the most important reasons is that Virginia Tech will provide me a pathway to success.

it will better if you elaborate briefly the reason why Virginia Tech becomes your pathway. Even, words : pathway to success is too absurd, unspecific, there are a lot of schools/universities that can encourage people to success.

I hope it will help. :)


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