which is a better beginning? i like the animal one but i believe the one about my parents is a lot more straightforward. what do you guys think??
1) Amongst the many things my parents taught me, reaching self-fulfillment was never one of them. To them, the idea having a stable job was enough to satisfy anyone who wanted a pleasant life. However, self-fulfillment has come to play a major role in defining how I lead my life
2) Being an animal means growing and learning; the major goal in their life is to reproduce so that the species continues to exist. This is true for all animals: lions, bees, crocodiles, etc. However, being a human allows us to surpass these lifetime ideals. To accomplish this, most strive to be happy; a few go even further than that to try to accomplish what I believe to be most important, self-fulfillment. This is what matters to me the most; reaching self fulfillment and being able to reflect back on my life knowing that everything I did
Honestly, I think they're both kinda cliche :/ maybe focus on a particular experience??
okay, i will try to come up with a better beginning. thank you!
About the animal version, I have a question.
One of the definition of self fulfillment is make oneself happy with one's own effort.
Animals can make themselves happy by playing games, like monkeys, little lions, and so.
So, self-fulfillment includes being happy, and I think animals also strive to be happy.
Maybe you should define self fulfillment, like make a difference or so?
hm, okay. with the animal one i was trying to say that they only seem to do what nature has taught them. however, with us humans we tend to strive further than to to accomplish more than just what is our nature. but i think i am going to go with a different beginning. thank you though!
I like the animal one because it sort of hooks the reader more. The first one is a bit like just average kind of? Maybe use that first one with a funny/interesting personal example that'd interest the reader right away
HELP!!! DUE IN AN HOUR!!!!!!!! stanford supp: what matters
**did i get my point across?? did i finish it well? i really appreciate all the comments i can get, it's due in an hour!! thank you and i will definitely return the favor!
what matters to you and why?
"Griselda, you lost so much weight! What's your secret?" my friend asked.
I smiled and simply replied," I run."
I have never been on the plump side but even so, running caused me to slim noticeably. After three years of running I lost about fifteen pounds and though I feel fantastic, it is not why running cross country became a significant part of my life.
During middle school, I met the friends whom I would grow up and mature with. I considered myself extremely lucky because spending time with them was always a blast; they were also faithful and dependable people. However, I soon I began to feel trapped because though I loved being their friend, I simultaneously hated it. They were confident, easygoing, beautiful and smart while I was shy, dorky and a band geek. As hard as I tried, being outgoing was difficult which caused me to be socially awkward and inept at meeting new people.
When high school came about, I had the opportunity to be part of a sports team and I wanted to improve my mile time from middle school so I joined cross-country. Daily, we practiced so I spent plenty of time with my teammates. After a year of hard work, I earned a solid spot on the varsity team sophomore year. Senior year, after four years of dedication I was named co-captain of the girls' cross-country team. Although I still loved my friends, I noticed a difference in the way I acted with my team because of my well-defined place on the team; I no longer felt like I was overlooked by others.
After years of being self-conscious and insecure, these new found comforts I felt being on the team brought about a change in me I never would have foreseen. The simple desire to improve my mile time brought a change in the way I held myself. I became more confident with others and I more gracefully met new people. While running definitely has its perks of staying healthy and slim, it matters to me because it granted me the comfort and confidence with myself I needed to excel not just academically, but socially as well.
This is a good essay but find a better link between running and socializing. And PLEASE help with my Stanford essays!
