self-taught guitar player - Duke Supplemental #2 - extracurricular activities

Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.) I really don't like these extremely short essays, I feel like I don't answer the prompt correctly. Feedback and help is very appreciated. D: Is this topic even okay? Or would it be preferable to talk about something else?

I have calluses on my finger tips. I even enjoy peeling off the thin layer of skin covering them. Gross, right? To me though, these calluses represent dedication; I'm a self-taught guitar player. I recall those days as a child where I would stand outside of my dad's room and listen while he locked himself up and played guitar. I guess I've always had an affinity for the guitar. A few years ago, I told my dad I wanted to learn how to play. He told me to grab a guitar, and watch. Watching. That was all I needed, though I honestly thought I would get frustrated and not even learn a song. However, I had initiative, and this has allowed me to learn so much. Playing guitar has taught me to be less timid, to not fear being expressive, and now, I can create this soothing, beautiful thing: music.

I feel as if the subject of your essay is fine, but the main problem is that this essay has to be centered around YOU. "Playing guitar has taught me to be less timid, to not fear being expressive, and now, I can create this soothing, beautiful thing: music." This is the only sentence where I feel as if I get to know about you, and still this is a very vague sentence. Remember that your supplements are the only part of the application in which the readers get to know who you really are. You need to really bring out yourself more in this essay. I know this is a very short essay, but try to elaborate a little bit on how guitar made you more prone to express yourself, etc.