I have narrowed down to below two essays for commonapp but finding it extremely tough to choose. I am inclined to use the second one for the reason because it talks about my progression and development as an individual and because I am pretty highly ranked NYS golfer. But I honestly like the second one better for its humor and whatnot. And I've gotten different comments from my friends and teachers. Any help will be emmensly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
1)I am a senior in highschool, yet I still cannot talk to girls. I have lived sixteen long years and I have yet to accomplish this "natural" feat. How is this natural? According to developmental psychology, early teens are supposed to "associate" themselves with the opposite gender. Yet here I am, miserably secluded with guys that obsess over who's best at FIFA(a video game). Don't get me wrong, I am not a social outcast who dreams about feminine touch every seven seconds of my life. I get along with guys easily because I am acknowledged as the joker in the class. But there is just this majestic aura around girls that just makes it seem impossible to approach them.
Was it my looks? Was it my Korean background? For so long, I did not "get" what was wrong. I envied my friends who solely relied on their hilarious diction to approach girls so obstinate. Even the guys in grades below us spoke to girls with such ease. If they were able to do it, why couldn't I?
To answer this question, my friends came up with an experiment designed to test how my normal diction would fare on girls. They recorded a video of our conversation (I did not know when they were going to record) and asked girls their thoughts of me based on the video. Since the girls did not know me well, the results were surprising.
It seemed as if there was nothing wrong with me-rather- the way I spoke around my friends, according to girls, was just "right". All of the girls were truly delighted by the way I spoke and said that they would definitely "give me a shot". In fact, they were tremendously surprised by the fact that I couldn't talk to girls. As one put it, "he's been saying the most hilarious things that I've heard this year!"
Although this experiment was created out of boredom and was an effort by my friends to further ridicule me, it had shown how going out of my comfort zone could completely change how I act. I have realized that I was a passive person, failing to take initiative for most of my life. When I moved to the States, I was afraid of talking to people that spoke a different language out of fear that I was not going to be perfect, when it was perfectly fine to make mistakes, and was impossible to be perfect your first time, or ever. I have given too much attention to what others were going to think of me rather than the benefits that it could have brought. The pieces missing were moderate selfishness and self-confidence. I have learned that opportunities does not present itself in front of me; I would have to take initiatives to create those opportunities.
Since realizing that I lacked confidence and selfishness, I have taken up matters more actively. To the delight of my teachers, I have changed my attitude in class, giving it my all to grasp slippery concepts rather than simply memorizing it. Furthermore, I now have less difficulty communicating with girls as I have gotten used to them and have expanded my comfort zone. In fact, what started out as a joke had actually ended up with me finally getting a girlfriend, further dumbfounding the creators of the experiment.
There will be countless struggles, dilemmas, and occasions of when I would have to step out of my comfort zone. However, this time, it will be me taking the initiative, as I have learned that nothing happens unless I reach out first. I will create opportunities, and I believe that reaching out, instead of backing down would lead me towards the correct path toward the future. The phrase that FDR had said has never been truer, that "only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
2)I remember the first time that I've ever gripped a golf club. The golf grip, intricate yet simple, intoxicated me with the feel of tackiness of rubber and inevitably got me hooked in the game. Golf has essentially been my life and my identity throughout my High School career.
However, prior to starting this game, I was a lost child, a part of nothing and isolated from the rest of society. I was a kid who was unable to form an identity stuck between two paths. Life in the States did not make it easy. My Korean identity hindered me from becoming a true American and fully assimilating into society (I spoke Korean, ate Korean food, and engaged in Korean affairs) while distance from home would not allow me to become a Korean. All of the computer game invites, letters and phone calls that I used to receive from friends started to fade away, eventually disconnecting me from my original society. I was an outcast and a reject just because I was forced to compromise between two identities.
Initially, golf was a way for me to escape from reality. Walking through the freshly cut grass in between the tall oak trees provided a mental asylum. Unlike many other sports, golf is a quiet game; I would often get in touch with nature. Walking by the fallen log near the water hazard and listening to the sound of ducks strolling, I used to question who I was, what I stood for and who I will grow up to be. A round of golf was a way for me to connect with my inner self; a path towards finding a true identity.
For the first few months of starting golf, I would walk for hours by myself, either getting in touch with nature or being amazed at the "pro-quality" golf shots. But it was impossible for me to avoid interacting with other golfers. As I started shooting low scores, other golfers asked me to join their group. Golf was no longer purely a game of connecting with my inner self; it provided me with an opportunity to break through my language barrier and to bridge the gap of loneliness. As I kept on interacting with other golfers, my ability to communicate naturally improved. Thus, I was able to ameliorate my status as an outcast as I started to belong to a regular foursome on the weekends; moreover, golfing had matured me into an adult as I learned how to communicate with much older players.
As I committed more effort and time in to the game throughout my high school career, golf no longer was a way for me to escape from reality as it became my reality. I was no longer a freshman who enjoyed playing the game alone as I became a competitor striving to achieve greatness. I eventually became the captain of my golf team, leading the team through hurricanes and victory Mcflurries. I was no longer an outcast; I was recognized as a leader and a star.
However, I am not satisfied with my accomplishments so far. The secrets of the golf swing will keep me searching, keep me moving, and keep me inquisitive. The mistakes that I would make on and off the golf course would make me seek out for the circumstances that would make me succeed.
