Service Academy Nomination Essay: What do you envision as your ultimate role with the US military?

america888 1 / 1

Oct 10, 2014 #1

i got locked out of my other account.

please look for ways for me to revise my essay and if I'm answering the prompt correctly. Thank you!!

Prompt: What do you envision as your ultimate role with the US military?

My desire to attend a military academy is for the sole purpose to serve my country and have a military career. If I would be blessed with the opportunity to attend an academy, I will strive to be a superlative leader for the future of woman and Hispanics in the profession of arms. Having a career the armed forces as a military officer is not for the ordinary person. It is a special calling and a lifetime decision being made which is why I am adamantly sure this is the only occupation for me.

My future goal is to major in a medical field profession. By implicating the skills learned from my medical training, I will provide aid and assistance to soldiers and to their families. Studying at a service academy will enable me to not only become military general but also enable me to comprehend the struggles that injured individuals go through, verses attending a civilian medical school. By understanding the background knowledge of the military life, I will able to treat patients more effectively as well as empathize with their pain.

I am certain that a career as a United States officer fits my unique combination of strengths better than any number civilian careers could.

vangiespen - / 4077

Oct 10, 2014 #2

My future goal is to major in a medical field profession...

- This is the only answer required by the essay prompt. Therefore, you should build this up in relation to your vision of becoming a US military officer. Explain the importance of having a medically trained professional officer on the battlefield and how your addition to that cluster could possibly change the way America heals its wounded on the front-line and helps the injured recover at the military hospital. That is the vision that you want to share with the military and should strive to bring to a reality by graduating from the military academy. If you can expand upon this particular paragraph, say make it cover 2 paragraphs, you will have more than answered the prompt. You will have given the admissions officer a solid insight into your future as a soldier and officer.

OP america888 1 / 1

Oct 10, 2014 #3

mportance of having a medically trained professional officer on the battlefield

Thank you!! so this answers the question better? im not sure what more i can add to make a second paragraph

My future goal is to major in a medical field profession. By implicating the skills learned from my medical training, I will provide aid and assistance to soldiers and to their families. Studying at a service academy will enable me to not only become military general but also enable me to comprehend the struggles that injured individuals go through, verses attending a civilian medical school. By understanding the background knowledge of the military life, I will able to treat patients more effectively as well as empathize with their pain.

The importance of having a medically trained professional officer on the battlefield is crucially essential for the military as a whole. My addition to medical branch could possibly change the way America heals its wounded on the front-line and helps the injured recover at the military hospital. This is the vision that I want to share with the military and should strive to bring to a reality by graduating from the military academy.

vangiespen - / 4077

Oct 10, 2014 #4

- Katie, consider building upon this paragraph by opening the statement with a concern about the lack of proper medical care available at the battle front. Remind them of the importance of the medic during an active battle and how the existence of the medic can help save lives when it should have been lost. Then explain the connection between your goal of becoming a military officer in the service of the overall medical well being of the soldiers. The treatment of the wounded is your primary goal. The official designation is only secondary. Imply that you are a selfless person who just wants to help and give back to your country. It is not about the prestige of becoming a military officer. That is only a perk in your opinion.

My addition to medical branch could possibly change the way America heals its wounded on the front-line and helps the injured recover at the military hospital.

- Do you have any idea of how you could possibly do that? Now would be a good time as any to mention it in relation to your ultimate role in the US military. I can help you throw around some ideas to answer that if you want to consider it.