Shy, curious, analytical - UBC Personal - Tell us about who you are.

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

From a young age, I had always been curious, analytical, but also shy. As a child, I would always have questions racing through my mind; however, I would always be too afraid to raise my hand or ask the teacher for help in fear of being reprimanded. This fear worsened to the point that I constantly felt trapped and unable to progress, both academically and socially. In grade 8, I was pulled aside after I did poorly on a test; my teacher sternly told me that I needed to ask for help if there was something that I did not understand. This incident led me to the realization that I had to do something about my social anxiety, that I needed to overcome it, otherwise, I would never be able to improve. From that day forward, whenever I struggled with content that was being taught, I would suck up the courage and ask teachers for clarification, which led to my grades significantly improving. Another thing that helped me most when overcoming my anxiety was reaching out to my friends. Although I had few, the ones that I did reach out to, were all extremely supportive. They would help me when I struggled, as well as introduce me to their friends, which allowed me to create meaningful connections throughout the years. Although I am still shy, I am extremely proud of overcoming my social anxiety, as well as how I constantly strive to improve.

I just finished writing this draft. Any feedback or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

This is not a usable draft. It does not respond to the prompt requirements. You are being asked to describe yourself based on the opinion of other people about you. That means you will be using either the second or third person pronouns for most of the essay. You are focused only on describing yourself from your point of view. Review the prompt requirements and write a new essay. One that uses clear references to the required points of view. Only after you discuss how other people see you can you finally use the first person pronouns that will help you describe what you are most proud of and why.

If I changed the first sentence to "From a young age, people have always seen me as an individual who is curious, analytical, but also shy.", @Holt

would that work better?

What the contributor Holt said is important, you should change your writing and describe yourself based on the opinion of people around you. After giving a short introduction about yourself and what people think about you, you should also describe more about how people that is around you have seen you grow and overcome your shyness. Maybe this could work. Good luck!