Significant Challenge and Its Impact (SVU essay) - I use the power of words

This essay is also for Southern Virginia University (a Mormon school).

My question is should I use a little snippet of my elementary school days in this type of essay? Or should I write about a different challenge in my life?

Also, please help me edit and give me suggestions.

Topic: Describe in 200 words or less a significant challenge that you have overcome and its impact on you.

I sit on my desk, trying to figure out how to set up a word problem. My brain is experiencing a thunderstorm and my brain cells are crying for help. I want to ask for help, but I don't want people to think that I'm not bright when it comes to math. My teachers literally believed that I'm not able to succeed because I'm not like the other students. But one day before entering freshman year, I said to myself that I have to prove the teachers and myself that I got what it takes to be a hard-working student. Yet, with every success comes with a secret: Words. No matter how positive or negative the words may be, I use the power of it to motivate myself to strive my way to success. Positive words are easy to deal with however with the negative words, I have to fight my way through it.

Ok, it's not really done but I felt like I should change the way how I discuss my challenge or is it alright the way it is?

...and what? I might be mistaken but I don't see how it is developed or connected to the rest of the essay

Yeah, I kind of throw out my train of thought while I was writing this. But what about this?

I sit on my desk, trying to figure out what is the difference between equilateral and congruent triangles. My brain is experiencing a thunderstorm and my conscience are crying for help. I want to ask for help, but I don't want people to think that I'm not bright when it comes to math. My teachers literally said that I'm not capable of doing anything because I'm not like the other students. After many times of people discouraging me, I said to myself that I have to prove to the teachers and to myself that I got what it takes to be a hard-working student. To make my goal possible, I use the words that the teachers said to me and use the power of it into a motivator, no matter how positive or negative the words may be. As a result, I am no longer being called not bright because I maintained my integrity and I would keep telling myself that I must not go back to what I use to be. Words are powerful, but words will never push me down.

After many times of people discouraging me < ---- After much discouragement from others,
use the power of it into a motivator < --- used them as motivation

^Just to assist with the flow, everything else looks nice :) I like the gist of your essay and I think the AOs will too.

Take a look at my Notre Dame Supps? Due tonight!

Thank you SO much Grace and Igor! You guys have saved my life. :) And I will look at your essays to return the favor! :)