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"SIPA: Home Away from Home" UC Personal Statement #1 Response

isabelbalitaUC 1 / 4  
Oct 15, 2012   #1
This is just a rough draft I wrote for the freshman admission personal statement (describe the world you come from blah blah..) . Please write any suggestions, opinions, mistakes to fix, or changes I should make. Also, tell me if my topic is good or not direct or focus enough. Thank you so much in advance ! I appreciate any comment or help.

Personal Statement #1

To many, home might be a house or apartment that they've lived in all their lives. Their memories are etched on the walls, and rooms of their house. For me, home was never just one place and in a lot of ways it was neither a house nor apartment nor room that we lived in. When my parents and I immigrated to the US, we lived with a variety of family friends. We slept in the living room of their apartments or even in their son's small bedroom. Although they were places that I lived in, I never really considered them to be my "home. "

Immigrating to America was a difficult transition for my parents and especially for me. In the Philippines, I was surrounded by countless aunts, uncles and cousins. I was accustomed to a life of being showered with familial love and the security of knowing that they were always nearby. In America, my family did not have this kind of stability. Needless to say, my first impression of the US was cold, distant, and unfamiliar. I was being forced to accept this strange, new place as my "home." Consequently, I rebelled against this notion and my attitude became very stubborn and disrespectful towards my parents. I was a child and did not understand the opportunities and advantages that my parents were trying to convince me was in America. School became an overwhelming environment to be in. I was thrust upon a place that was so foreign to me, making it difficult to make friends with kids of different cultures and customs. I was not fluent in English and learning it was difficult. It only exemplified my feelings of being unsuited for America.

It was in this period of time that my parents introduced me to an after school program called, SIPA. It stands for "Search to Involve Pilipino-Americans." Through this program I was able to become part of a community that shared my cultures and traditions. SIPA was not only for Filipino-Americans, they accepted a variety of young adults of various races into their program. Being surrounded by people of all different kinds of ethnicities, in a place that let us share our culture together taught me to become accepting of my new environment and to appreciate what it meant to live in America. It was in SIPA that I learned that I was not alone; that there were kids from every part of the world living in America who were going through the same difficulties as I was. Some of them were in a worst position. I realized that, despite the hardships of coming and living here, my parents had made the right decision. Although the melting pot of cultures was still a bit overwhelming, SIPA was my home away from home that helped me withstand the difficulties. It taught me to be embrace my new surroundings, while helping me uphold the values of being a Filipino. Although I am no longer part of this community, I live by these teachings everyday and hope to extend the morals and values I was taught to others and to use them avidly in my future.
OP isabelbalitaUC 1 / 4  
Oct 16, 2012   #2
Thank you so much for taking the time to make the corrections and I very much appreciate your comment. Topic/content-wise do you think that there's any thing that I should change or work on?
OP isabelbalitaUC 1 / 4  
Oct 23, 2012   #3
does anyone have any other suggestions or comments?

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