"The Sisterhood of Literary genesis..." - my Amherst supplement essay response

Hey guys this was my essay response for Amherst. I've already submitted it. Its 309 words. (limit 300 words) Let me know what you think of it.

PS - I know poems are risky and dangerous. However, I have a close connection with theater, and I know I wouldn't have been able to expressed myself any better than this.

Prompt:
"Literature is the best way to overcome death. My father, as I said, is an actor. He's the happiest man on earth when he's performing, but when the show is over, he's sad and troubled. I wish he could live in the eternal present, because in the theater everything remains in memories and photographs. Literature, on the other hand, allows you to live in the present and to remain in the pantheon of the future.

Literature is a way to say, I was here, this is what I thought, this is what I perceived. This is my signature, this is my name."

Ilan Stavans, Professor of Spanish, Amherst College
From "The Writer in Exile: an interview with Ilan Stavans" by Saideh Pakravan for the fall 1993 issue of The Literary Review

Response:

Standing there alone in the darkness,
The whispers backstage grew in hushed wildness,
Trembling and shaking each second,
I anticipated the forthcoming, knees weakened.

Through the slit I saw the dazzling light,
Flooding the stage and me like the sun rise.
It was my first act; the curtains were apart evidently,
As the thousand pairs of eyes looked intently!

Tick tock, tick tock, the clock walked;
Out of the apparent freeze, my body thawed.
Just like practice, I knew what to do,
Though after a thousandth time, it still seemed new.

The thrill and the rush were so exciting,
That slowly passed away all the anxiety.
Taking my cue I played the part,
Who knew my first monologue could touch so many hearts.
.
At end when off stage my feet led me
-Without letting the performance being stymied.
I moved into the wings without pause,
For my act from beyond the stage, I heard a round of applause.

The feeling was invigorating,
I felt a new me liberating.
Perhaps I finally found my place -
In this mean world which is compelled to race.

What's the difference between an actor and a writer?
-Just the same difference as between a lion and a tiger.
Who is then the more powerful an artist?
-Oh no, it is almost as difficult a battle as between the sexes!

Writing and theatre are more like sisters of the same brood,
One is elder and other is the younger bloom;
Together in harmony they express themselves on the canvases
Of this amazing world filled with sadness, rapture and promises.

Theatre and Literature both communicate
-One through pictures and actions, the other through language.
You're right Mr. Stavans; it is true that pen is mightier than the sword,
But you should also know that a picture speaks a thousand words.

Thanks for your time! I anticipate your critiques. :)
Do look through my other essays!

Hello!
Yes, poetry is risky since it is so open to interpretation. However, the fact that you were willing to take that risk may make you even more likely to catch the eye of the one reading the responses. Not to mention, it will be different from the normal responses that are just written out. Doing something different will make you more memorable.

The poem itself was lovely. I really like that it builds up anticipation as I read it, so that when the subject actually goes on stage I feel for them.

However, I am not sure it directly addresses what Mr. Stavans was talking about. His issue with theater seems to be that it can not be recreated. Once a play is over, it will never be done exactly the same way again. But with books, it will remain the same forever on those pages. I like how you mentioned "a picture speaks a thousand words," but I'm not sure this topic was in your poem as much as it should have been.

Overall, though, it really is a nice poem.
Good job!

Hi Wynne,

Thanks for your helpful critique. I really appreciate it. :)
I do realize that I haven't address what I have stated in the last line. It's not really easy to work with a 300 word limit. :( But I agree with what you have said. I wish I could have expanded a bit more on "a picture speaks a thousand words"...

Hey, btw if you get time please read my UChicago essay on Find X. Please! :) I'm waiting for a constructive response. :)

Thanks a lot. =)

I can really feel the staccato rhythm you get with the syllables you've chosen. They convey the frozen nervousness of stage fright!


I wanted to say I like this part a lot, but paradoxically, I want to also say it seems like "evidently" is forced, contrived, chosen just to rhyme and not because evidentaly really fits the meaning of the sentence. And I included the "clock walked" part because I wanted to tell you that is the most awesome line of poetry I have ever seen! Very, very cool...


This part needs to be developed more... I mean... to explain the comparison to lions and tigers... what is the meaning of the analogy?

Anyway, you are great! :-)

Woah EF Susan! You caught me on the "evidently" part! I did kind of just contrive it to make it fit. :|
Oh really? Thank You. :)

I had a 300 word limit to write this in. Therefore, I could not clearly express or elaborate on every idea I presented in this poem.

The analogy was to tell that writers and actors are equally potent and skilled artists who can demonstrate a wide array of emotions through their work. They can be compared to a lion and a tiger because these two creatures are the fiercest beast of the wild, both can be said to be almost equally powerful. Even though it is said that tiger might win, the lion still holds the position of "The King".

Do you think the poem stands out? Or seems different to most essay responses? Do you think it fits the prompt well?

Thank you so much for reading it. :-)

Yep, it fits the prompt as well as a poem can, probably. To be honest, I would not use a poem unless they said it was okay. But that does not mean it is a bad idea. I just think you get better results if you give them what they intend for you to give. You wrote a great poem, but some people who feel very opinionated about what they expect in an essay may say, "This person should not get special consideration for not writing an essay." Well... I don't know how to explain it. It is hard to judge a poem by the same criteria as an essay, so the person might automatically guard against giving you special consideration.

But please don't let that idea discourage you. I am over-thinking it.

Thanks Again EF Susan! :) PLEASE do read my Cornell essay if possible. :)

I totally understand your concern here. I know an admissions officer reading my essay prompt might not want to give me much of "extra" credit for attempting something different or for being perhaps a little... adventurous.

I know an essay would have probably helped me to express myself with greater depth... But I was dead sure I wanted to write a poem, even if it meant I had to take a risk, because I knew what I had to say may not have come out the same way as it does in the poem.

I am so grateful that you brought this point up. Really helped me to at it from another perspective. Thank you so much for all the help! =)