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"SKETCHING is my obsession" - essay regarding my hobby-MIT



geet_soni14 1 / 1  
Dec 11, 2010   #1
SKETCHING is my obsession I cannot abnegate this activity. For me sketching is something intricate yet soothing, ersatz yet aboriginal, monotonous yet appealing, look dull yet fascinating .For others it may be a co curricular activity but for me it is a soul mate in both abject and paramount eras. It is my approach of expressing my feelings regarding what I feel of nature, of my day to day activities and of others. By practicing this fine art my mind is developing in such a way that reading people face expressions is becoming part of my personality. This art form is my mode to control anger, to express happiness and deny melancholy.

please tell me how is it and please correct my mistakes

jarabhuiyan 4 / 9  
Dec 11, 2010   #2
It's a good topic, some parts may seem a bit too wordy, like you pressed synonyms on Word and picked the first word out. Maybe checking that over for flow once again would help, and adding a better concluding sentence would perfect it. Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 21, 2010   #3
Why would you ever have to abnegate it? Do not use big words just for the sake of using them.
ersatz yet aboriginal, monotonous yet appealing, look dull yet fascinating .

The second half of the essay is good, because it expresses real ideas. The first half of the essay does not really have much meaning; it is just a collection of big words.

Use hyphens: day-to-day

activities. and of others.

...reading people's face expressions is becoming part of my personality. ---awesome... this gets really good at the end!
Duke9316 1 / 4  
Dec 21, 2010   #4
Prompt?

I can't find any mistakes other then the ones that have been pointed out. In the first sentence when kept saying yet it got annoying and more complicated to understand. If you can avoid doing that i think it would be a great short answer.

Whats the prompt? Its hard to say if your addressing the question or not.
OP geet_soni14 1 / 1  
Dec 26, 2010   #5
thanks for your response and now i have a better version of it below

If there is one activity which I can proclaim with zest as my obsession, then it would be sketching. Whether I am sketching Natures mesmerizing vibrancy or dreaming of a supernatural character, sketching defines my approach towards life. Since childhood I was influenced by my mother, who was adept at sketching and fashion design. My passion for sketching stems from an innate desire to etch the goings-on of everyday life onto paper, like a photographic record of the past. It provides me a medium to express my outlook towards society. Whenever I put pencil on paper my creativity unleashes and as gradually a sketch unfolds I discover a bit of my self. Sketching has transformed me into person with better perception who takes life with a positive approach. For now I am content dreaming myself at the mighty MIT.

please check this one.


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