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'Snake without poison' - Engineering option essay



eagle123 1 / 2  
Nov 26, 2009   #1
Definitely Engineering...

Besides their daily routine my grandparents never failed to remind me, "A Person without Aim is like a snake without poison". It felt like they had incorporated the reminder in their everyday schedule. My grandmother's bedtime stories somehow always revolved round the importance of aspiration in a person's life. With a strong reference to how significantly goals and ambition were co-related; she emphasized much more on how those dreams were directly proportional to success. Reflecting on all those years of wisdom, I have come to realize the influence that that particular moral had in the choice of my dream career. Since my childhood, I have always aspired in learning how the wonderful world of electronics comes into being.

Whenever my parents bought me a new toy, I always had a screwdriver with me. Most of the times I ended up opening the knots and bolts just to find out what that toy was made of and what brought it into motion. The secret revelation whereby the small plastic parts, metal pieces, wires were coiled together with a small but a mighty and a magnificent 7thcentury BC creation, the screw never once failed to intrigue me. I often wondered how long it might have taken for the inventor to come up with the idea that now looked so simple. The screws, the cell, the colorful wires well hidden under the powerful sheath structure made me think of my mother whom I thought of as the home engineer of my big shelter, I like to call home. The machine parts that were used were more or less always the same, but I always fascinated and lost examining those parts for hours. Well, never being able to put it back together often times got me into trouble but that never stopped me. The miraculous combination was all it took to mesmerize a curios little engineer like me; I wished to know more, see more and learn much more. However, I think finding answers to my curious questions was worth all the punishments I went through; I would say I learned the hard way. My childhood habit of dismantling small toys soon developed into dismantling bigger gadgets such as the DVDs, VCDs, and radios. The only difference was I could now put things back together, in other words engineer the already engineered gadgets. Lifetime of taking pieces apart actually familiarized me with the location and the importance of most of those small electronic marvels. I soon turned into a home mechanic and could successfully repair minor breakdowns. Fixing a gadget malfunction was an ecstasy.

With the evergreen 'grandparent reminder,' I think this childhood hobby of mine had a huge influence upon my career decision as an Engineer. I wish to come up with a creation that little future engineers like myself, could ponder upon and more importantly learn from. The creative creations of moving toys still fascinates me and though a little too big for the toy section, never fail to double check if a new invention has come about.

I need to shorten my essay somehow but have no idea what factors are irrelevant??

Alicelxh - / 1  
Nov 26, 2009   #2
Your realisation about the importance of aspiration is pretty long and irrelevant to the subject of engineering. I would suggest you eliminate or shorten the grandparent story and build on the last sentence of the first paragraph. The transition to the third paragraph is quite rough. You jump from toys to gadgets and make reference to childhood hobby (probably on dismantling toys) in the end. This makes the reader confused. Do provide the prompt so that your question can be better addressed.

I ended up opening the knots and bolts just to know how that stuff was made and what went into making it.

So what did you see? It will be better if you can elaborate and link this to your curiosity.

structure of an electronic item

Are you referring to a particular electronic gadget or electronic items?
OP eagle123 1 / 2  
Nov 28, 2009   #3
Thank You so much for the feedback..I have taken all of them and have tried to make it better..and I took some time and revised the essay to make it a little longer so that I could use it as my personal essay.

I wanted to show how with my grandparents bedtime stories helped me turn my childhood hobby into a dream career..Please do not hesitate to fix any errors that you come across. I am more than thankful for all your help
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Nov 30, 2009   #4
As a matter of daily routine my grandparents never failed to remind me, "A Person without Aim is like a snake without poison". It felt like they had incorporated the reminder in their everyday schedule.

The only difference was that I could now put things back together, in other words engineering the already-engineered gadgets.

I think you should show what you know a little more. Can you cite some articles written by engineers doing the specific type of work that interests you? I think the part about your childhood engineering should only be a small part of the essay. Toward the end, write a little more about your professional plans. If you are not sure of them, come up with some good ones! You can always change the plan when necessary.


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