Snowboarding - extracurricular activity - winter sports

What is snowboarding to me? "I would not even call snowboarding a sport. It is a way of life. It is a chance to shut your brain off and live in the moment." Travis Rice could not have said it any better. Snowboarding has become a part of who I am and has had many influences on my life. The sport of snowboarding has taught me very valuable skill such as: Persistence, Hard work, Courage and Dedication. I was taught to be persistent when learning new tricks. From personal experience, when learning a new trick I experienced many failures and countless tries but snowboarding taught me to stick with it because the taste of victory and achievement is incomparable. The sport also taught me about the value of courage and being able to take risks. From watching other people accel, I learned that I need to really push myself if I want to be at the top of the charts. Almost every time that I ride I scare the living daylights out of myself. This is not a bad thing though because it teaches me to push my comfort zone and reap the rewards. Snowboarding also taught me dedication because if you love something enough and would like to be good at it then you need to be dedicated. All the time that I spend thinking about and actually riding my snowboard show my extreme dedication and it really does pay off. Snowboarding to me is a way that I live my life.

hello, I was wondering if you would give some constructive criticism and feedback to my short answer reply for the common application. Thank you.

What is snowboarding to me? "I would not even call snowboarding a sport. It is a way of life. It is a chance to shut your brain off and live in the moment." Travis Rice could not have said it any better. Snowboarding has become a part of who I am and has had many influences on my life. The sport of snowboarding (if Travis Rice say it is not a sport and you believe you are in sense contradicting yourself by calling it a sport) has taught me very valuable skill such as: (dont put such as or : i think it would be better to put "like") Persistence, Hard work, Courage and Dedication (you don't have to capitalize them). I was taught to be persistent when learning new tricks. From personal experience, when learning ("when learning" makes it a bit awkward. You also repeated it twice) a new trick I experienced many failures and countless tries (countless tries does not make sense. Maybe you are trying to say, you tried many times) but snowboarding taught me to stick with it (stick with it is too informal. Try persistent) because the taste of victory and achievement is incomparable (incomparable to what?) . The sport also taught me about the value of courage and being able to take risks. ( and "risk talking") From watching other people accel (not a word. If you mean accelerate it might be better to put that), I learned that I need to really push myself if I want to be at the top of the charts (doesn't make sense. try "be the best", "make it to the top"). Almost every time that I ride I scare the living daylights out of myself. This is not a bad thing though because it teaches me to push my ("come out of my") comfort zone and reap the rewards. Snowboarding also taught me dedication because if (once) you love something enough and would like to be good at it,then you need to be dedicated. All the time that I spend thinking about (thinking about what?) and actually riding my snowboard show my extreme dedication and it really does pay off. Snowboarding to me is a way that I live my life. ("s my way of life")

Good essay. Try taking out "riding". Maybe it is a term i dont know, but it sounds informal. Good luck!!