can you please correct my grammar!!!! and (contents too if you have time?)
CORNELL SOCIOLOGY ESSAY
After three years of tutoring English and Korean to various groups of children and teenagers, I was ready to try something different. I finally found two things I was really capable to teach: a recorder and an origami. When I called Mrs.Goin to ask a permission to teach a class, the founder and the director of the Faith Works, the inner-city organization in Oklahoma City, she hesitantly agreed.
On the first day of the class, my gigantic dream of assembling the first Oklahoma City children's orchestra shattered with brutal attacks on my head with twelve recorders from the children. Soon, I realized that these children were slightly different from the little children I was used to seeing. Along with their obsession with any kinds of food, most children had some kinds of stories about their dad, brothers or cousins going to the jail. I finally got used to the frequent use of the word 'sex' from 2nd graders.
Many children are undocumented aliens. Most often, they are in the abysmal situation with no proper housings and care. After raising $20,000 for the Faith Works through the HEROES week program, the service program in school, I decided to find the root of the despondent poverty: the cause of illegal immigration. Going through various researches and documentaries has revealed that there are almost no jobs available in rural Mexico. NAFTA has taken away the competitiveness of crops and farmers' jobs. Even though there are the funds from the government, the local governments greedily distribute the funds within their own families. Many people spend $2000 to $3000 crossing the border while having no knowledge of these funds.
Studying Sociology at Cornell will open a door for me to engage in studying and developing policies that will help the children from the Faith Works. While majoring in Sociology, I wish to minor in Inequality studies because I, a minority, know the feeling of being discriminated. While majoring in Sociology, I want to develop a viable policy to boost up Mexican economy to get down to the heart of illegal immigration. After graduating from Cornell, I wish to return to Faith Works and implement unique ideas gained from Cornell's wide array of research opportunities, diverse student body and knowledge from brilliant Cornell professors to better the world for my future students at Faith Works.
CORNELL SOCIOLOGY ESSAY
After three years of tutoring English and Korean to various groups of children and teenagers, I was ready to try something different. I finally found two things I was really capable to teach: a recorder and an origami. When I called Mrs.Goin to ask a permission to teach a class, the founder and the director of the Faith Works, the inner-city organization in Oklahoma City, she hesitantly agreed.
On the first day of the class, my gigantic dream of assembling the first Oklahoma City children's orchestra shattered with brutal attacks on my head with twelve recorders from the children. Soon, I realized that these children were slightly different from the little children I was used to seeing. Along with their obsession with any kinds of food, most children had some kinds of stories about their dad, brothers or cousins going to the jail. I finally got used to the frequent use of the word 'sex' from 2nd graders.
Many children are undocumented aliens. Most often, they are in the abysmal situation with no proper housings and care. After raising $20,000 for the Faith Works through the HEROES week program, the service program in school, I decided to find the root of the despondent poverty: the cause of illegal immigration. Going through various researches and documentaries has revealed that there are almost no jobs available in rural Mexico. NAFTA has taken away the competitiveness of crops and farmers' jobs. Even though there are the funds from the government, the local governments greedily distribute the funds within their own families. Many people spend $2000 to $3000 crossing the border while having no knowledge of these funds.
Studying Sociology at Cornell will open a door for me to engage in studying and developing policies that will help the children from the Faith Works. While majoring in Sociology, I wish to minor in Inequality studies because I, a minority, know the feeling of being discriminated. While majoring in Sociology, I want to develop a viable policy to boost up Mexican economy to get down to the heart of illegal immigration. After graduating from Cornell, I wish to return to Faith Works and implement unique ideas gained from Cornell's wide array of research opportunities, diverse student body and knowledge from brilliant Cornell professors to better the world for my future students at Faith Works.