My school's uniform consists of a white (light blue if you're a senior) short-sleeve oxford shirt, a dark cerulean blue jumper with my school's insignia on the left side about four fingers below the clavicle, black school shoes, and white crew socks. My version of my school uniform, however, consists of the oxford shirt, the blue jumper, the black school shoes, and the most awesome, colorful, design-filled crew socks.
This summer I entered a heavenly sock store, where I bought three pairs of socks that changed how I would live thereon after. Okay, maybe not "live", but at the very least, they would alter how I would dress. One pair has a white background and differently sized brown and gray elephants placed randomly around them. The best part: on the foot's arc area you can find facts about elephants. Another pair is black with multiple Albert Einstein faces placed around the socks. Albert Einstein's hair varies between yellow, purple, and green. The third pair has palm trees, rainforest plants and a red psittacidae parrot.
The socks I wear with my uniform help me gain an identity, and confidence, within the boundaries of my school's regulations, which is why I have suggested to my principal to extend wearing quirky accessories once a month to the rest of the student body. I show my interests and personality through the socks I wear. I am obsessed with elephants and love science. As for the third pair, well, the parrot seemed pretty cool.
Daniela, I am not sure if this is a quirk in as much as it can be better viewed as a controlled way of rebelling against school rules. A quirk is supposed to be indicated as a peculiar behavior or habit. Somehow, the socks and the reasons that you have for wearing them do not seem to fall under that definition. Maybe you have another quirk that you can test for this essay?
Some examples of quirks are playing with your earlobe when you are bored or nervous, biting your lip when you are concentrating on your work, having to lock your front door 3 times before you can leave the house, Playing a particular type of music when you are driving, wearing a particular type of clothing when you attend a game, etc. All of these indicate a strange behavior or habit of a person that strange enough, the person has a specific reason for doing so. Normally, it ties in with a certain sense of comfort that a person gets from doing such an activity It gives the person inner strength or something. I just know that it has a positive reason for being a part of the personality of that person. The explanation you provided for the socks, it doesn't resonate the same way.
I'd advise you to have another go at your essay. First, study yourself and your habits. Find one that seems peculiar to you. Ask your friends if they ever noticed something quirky about you. That normally helps when you are writing this sort of essay. I am sure that one of your friends will have a quirky related tale to tell you about. Use that information to develop a more relevant essay for the prompt :-)
Thank you Louisa for your feedback. Could you (or anybody) revise this one?
I wouldn't be a good poker player. I dominate the poker face, but take one look at what I'm doing with my hands and watch as I transform into transparent matter. My hands are my emotional messengers that carry my most intimate information to the outside world.
If encountered with a suspenseful situation, or whenever I watch an action movie, I will gently bite my nails or the middle knuckle of my index finger. I will crack my knuckles if I am relaxed and place my left ring finger as far as possible between the index finger and thumb of my left hand if I am calmly thinking. If I have to study for a big test, do a project, etc., I must compulsively fix my nails in a methodical manner: remove the cuticle, apply two coats of nail polish, and meticulously clean my nails' edges. Whenever my mind decides to act as if it had twenty cups of coffee and fills my mind with rushing thoughts, I start doing something crafty, like sculpting small elderly heads out of "Play-Doh", completing a Rubik's cube or doing origami. If I am nervous or anxious, I'll grab my lower lip and alternately and rapidly tap my index and middle fingers on a surface. Lastly, if I am happy, I will open and close my hands slowly.
My need to constantly entertain my hands is essential to my identity. If I'm not twirling my rings, I'll be playing the piano or braiding somebody's hair. I will always be expressing myself, whether I want to or not, through my hands.
dBres, let me try to spice up the statement for you. Let me know if it goes over the word count limit and I'll fix it for you.
I wouldn't be a good poker player. I dominate the poker face, IN A GAME OF POKER, HAVING A POKER FACE WOULD BE USELESS FOR ME. I CAN PULL OFF A POKER FACE JUST AS WELL AS ANYBODY AT THE TABLE, BUT MY HAND QUIRK WOULD BE ENOUGH TO GIVE MY HAND AWAY TO THE PEOPLE I AM PLAYING WITH. MY HANDS transform ME into transparent matter.
I must compulsively fix my nails in a methodical manner: remove the cuticle, apply two coats of nail polish, and meticulously clean my nails' edges.
If I am nervous or anxious, I'll grab my lower lip
- Grab? How would you do that? Show rather than tell the reader.
My need to constantly entertain my hands is essential to my identity. If I'm not twirling my rings, I'll be playing the piano or braiding somebody's hair. I will always be expressing myself, whether I want to or not, through my hands.
- Why did you say that your hands are essential to your identity? What does this quirk represent in totality? Wrap up with essay with a summary or additional explanation.
dBres, the first essay is definitely quirky. I had fun reading it. It was worth my time of de- stressing from a serious essay and some research paper.
It's good to read some light writing pieces you know!, any way, let me help you out with this second essay.
- watch as I transform it into transparent matter.
- If encountered with a suspensefulthrilling situation, or whenever
- LastlyMore so , if I am happy,
- my hands is essential to my identity.
What can I say, we all have other ways of expressing ourselves, one way or another it does help us go through something and enjoy life the way we want to.
dBres, as you can see, this essay doesn't have that much corrections to be done, it's written pretty well, the only thing that I believe needs a little bit of work is the logical order and the structure of the essay as a whole, reason being, as I was reading you somehow lost me in the middle and picked up at the last part of the essay. The idea of the essay should be evident through out the essay.
I hope my remarks helped!
