Something you do for pleasure of it MIT-dancing

I never really figured out when I started to enjoy dancing, until I was invited at my cousin's marriage.
The bass-boosted EDM rumbled across the hall, yet, no one dared to step on the dance floor. I glimpsed around me. The temptation was so irresistible, that my legs and my arms begun to wobble to the tunes of Tiesto. Jumping from my chair with a perfectly executed Cartwheel, I landed right in the middle of the dance floor and begun waving my hands and shuffling my legs. With my mind and body working in synchrony, I could feel the adrenaline gushing through my veins and all my body muscles stretching all the way through. Since, whenever I hear music, be it at birthday and marriage parties or in the bathroom, I cannot help myself dance.

@lorna
As far as I'm concerned, this writing is asking about your routine hobby. Something you love to do after tiresome learning during your student life. Although your writing is pretty good, it is not that good for institution like MIT.

Good Luck.

@nandasharma
How can I improve it? Can u plz help me make it better?

@lorna
Perhaps the best piece of advice I can give you about this prompt is to be genuine.You can opt for a straightforward description, or a short anecdote. The anecdote frequently is the more interesting strategy because it allows you to show off some writing skill (if executed correctly) in a way that the remaining prompts of MIT probably don't.

All the best.

@nandasharma @holt
The bass-boosted EDM rumbled across the hall. The temptation was so irresistible, that my legs and my arms started to shake. Jumping from my chair with a perfectly executed Cartwheel, I landed right in the middle of the dance floor, and began waving my hands and shuffling my legs. With my mind and body working in synchrony, I could feel the adrenaline gushing through my veins, my stretching body muscles, and the connection I built with myself. I never knew since when I started to dance, but one thing I know is that it is among the few things I enjoy.

Lorna, do you enjoy dancing just for the pleasure of it? Or did you dance just that one time at your cousin's wedding? Your response needs to reflect a hobby or activity that you do because you enjoy doing it. So, if you can describe how you learned how to dance at your cousin's wedding, and then developed that into a regular dance routine that you do, then the response to the essay will have become correct. You will need to create a continuity for dancing after the wedding and then present an explanation regarding how you continued the activity because you found yourself enjoying the activity. How did you feel while dancing? How does dancing relieve your stress? Try to inject some humor into the story if you can. It is important that the activity come across as something truly enjoyable to you because it helps you to relax and forget the stress you had for the day.