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'something more precious than money' - UC application prompt 1...world


Simon0228 3 / 4  
Nov 25, 2012   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

For eighteen years, I've been living in a seemingly insipid world. Besides studying at school, I spend most of my time with my parents. We live in a modest apartment, having dinner together. In my world, it's quite hard to find anything that even approaches the concept of drama as everything's so predictable, routine, and monotonous.

However, in spite of the vapidity, I've got a stable life. Both of my parents have steady jobs, which guarantee there'll be no economic crisis happening in my family. They love each other very much, always sharing sorrows and joys. We go out to have a dinner or watch a movie once a week as a tradition. Unlike those coming from single-parent families, I'm blessed by having experienced familial happiness so closely without any limitation.

Usually every day after dinner, during our reading and sharing time, we sit down to read and sometimes start discussing the principles of life. My parents don't authoritatively drill their ideas into me. Instead, they try to use the dialogue to let me know what's important. Therefore I've gradually formed some principles of my life. Life is hard but joyful. What kind of shape the life takes depends upon my perspective. Money is one of the indispensable elements in my future, but it's not an end-all. There's always something more precious than money, something invaluable, like love, compassion, honesty and integrity. To be a complete human, those are the things that determine whether I achieve success or not. Thus, although now I'm not sure what kind of life I'll have in the future, I'm sure it will be replete with love, compassion, honesty, integrity and happiness. They may seem to be too abstract for people to regard as dreams, but they are truly the final pursuits of those who have already accomplished their big dreams like business tycoon or leading financier or politician. These are the pristine qualities of decent humans, nevertheless being lost on the way to achieve so-called grand success. I will pick them up on my way to the dream.

Ordinary has been a dominant factor in my world where is safe, but far from exciting. I really want to expand my world, to breathe some fresh air, the kind I've never inhaled before, during which I will hold these ideals and spread them to outer world, to wake up the deep craving for fine qualities inside individual's heart. Thus, I've decided to go to UC, to feel something diverse, to test my tenets in reality.

My counselor said that my essay didn't show my plan for my major and career, but Now I am pretty not sure what I will do in the future. To be honest, my family lacks the influence on my career. I really wonder how can I fix this...Thanks!
suzeroonie 3 / 17 1  
Nov 25, 2012   #2
I agree with your counselor. You didn't answer the prompt, because you didn't discuss your aspirations. Perhaps a part of your world other than your family has influenced you in some way? Maybe a club or activity that you do, or your city, or a class that you really enjoyed. You don't have to talk about a career choice if you don't know what you want to do yet, but think about what types of subjects interest you. Maybe it's math, or reading, or a sport, or theater? Where do you see yourself in ten years? Talk about those aspirations. Good luck :) Check out my UC essay too?
okhabin 2 / 7  
Nov 25, 2012   #3
For eighteen years, I'veI have been living in a seemingly insipid world. Besides studying at school, I spend most of my time with my parents. We live in a modest apartment, having dinner together. In my world, it's quite hard to find anything that even approaches the concept of drama as everything's so predictable, routine, and monotonous.

However, in spite of the vapidity, I'veI have got a stable life.

Avoid contractions in professional academic papers.
I see a lot of them; I'll There'll I'm, etc. I believe you should fix all of these.


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