'sophomore class presidents' - student government short answer common app

hey, any feedback would be greatly appreciated :) thank you!!!

the underscored parts are names by the way. first one is my name, and second is my co-president.

SHORT ANSWER:

Standing by the loudspeaker, I eagerly anticipated the results. Countless pessimistic thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to envision the different possibilities this announcement could entail. The intercom roared, "This year's sophomore class presidents will be _______ and _______" This statement echoed in my mind hundreds of times during that moment. That was it. The moment that I was yearning for weeks finally came. Since then, I have been elected as the class co-president for a total of three consecutive years where I've organized dozens of school events, created a school store, and best of all, shared my passion for leadership with others. My leadership abilities have prospered and I have become much more confident overall. Being a leader has transformed me into a completely different person with more confidence and skills that I will need for college as well as life.

This is a solid essay; However, it sort of portrays you as a perfect leader that has nothing to improve on. Maybe you could talk about a different event, (maybe about the school store and how your leadership helped make it successful) or something that has less emphasis on how you were elected. A specific event would be better, because it would actually show why you are fit to be a leader and why others voted for you.

If you have time, it would be great if you looked over my common app essay as well. Thanks!

which essay would you like me to look over? thank you for your input! ALL FEEDBACK IS WELCOME!