Its Spirit. community,subject options/ NORTHWESTERN Sup;Unique qualities?

Hello,
So I'm trying to answer a supplement for Northwestern and it's getting really difficult.
Would someone please read over what I have so far and care to comment? Just what needs to be changed and if I'm going in the right direction?

Thank you!

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

A huge wave of purple, the letter "N" slapped across each person's chest, and the gym in thunders with cheers: now who wouldn't want to be a part of that? Yes, initially what drove me towards applying to Northwestern was the school spirit and the closely-knit nature of its community. By reading about traditions like The Rock, Dance Marathon, and Primal Scream, I could understand how much community, which includes friends and professors, means to students at Northwestern. Coming from a school that is very big on competition and friendship, I can see myself being part of such a community and making the most of the diverse group of friends and professors I would be able to interact with.

Although I got a feel of the university just through some words on a website, I saw further factors that drew me towards Northwestern and especially Weinberg College, which would prepare me for a profession in law through its pre-professional studies. However, what attracts me even more is my ability to bounce around and juggle with other subjects and be free from intently focusing on one path. Even if I choose not to become a lawyer, I would be assured that Northwestern has provided me with analyzing, reasoning, writing, and speaking skills that are all important for any profession.

Hello !

I love how you started the essay ; it shows a lot of interest and motivation.

However, I think something is missing : you never really talk about why you've chosen law, and not any other fiel of study.
and, your 2nde parapraph's first sentence is a little bit too long : why don't you try to rephrase it ?
and, in the 2nd sentence : maybe you need to replace the first "and" with a coma ?

good luck ..

You have a very good intro. It really sucked me into the essay.

Like MiaB says, you don't say why you have chosen law, specifically law at Northwestern. What unique qualities of NW are you looking forward to taking advantage of? One could be the quarter system...

Also, you might want to tone down the social aspects of NW, or even better, add to the academic aspects of why you want to attend NW.

Thank you, MiaB and Aurora88. I will work on those!
:D

Northwestern sup! due tonight!!! urgent please review

Hello everyone. and HAPPY NEW YEAR.
haha.. so this is what I've come up with,,, for the sup so far. haven't answered part of the question .. but .. what do you think.. good approach or too risky?? :P

OF course:: the question::
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Recipe for a Big Bowl of Experience and Knowledge
List of ingredients, where to find them, and instructions:
1. A smooth base for a sense of community is vital for a Great Experience. This base is a combination of traditions like The Rock, Dance Marathon, Primal Scream, and of course, the school spirit during tournament season.

2. Take a cup of fruitful challenge of intellectual ability and pour it into the Bowl. This cup can be found in the mixture of classroom discussions, the renowned professors, and the quarter system (which allows one the ability to try out many different courses in just a year, an option I especially look forward to).

3. For a spoonful of entertainment, add the city of Chicago and the wonders it has to offer, like seasonal concerts, museums, and chance to do summer jobs and internships in professional areas.

4. To get the special flavour that the Big Bowl is known for, gracefully stir in the Weinberg College. The College will work great with the other ingredients as it would prepare me for a profession in law through its pre-professional studies. However, what's even more special about this feature is that it will give me the ability to bounce around and juggle with other subjects and be free from intently focusing on one path, one flavor. Even if I choose not to become a lawyer after graduation, I would be assured that the College has provided me with analyzing, reasoning, writing, and speaking skills that are all important for any profession.

This is definitely a very creative approach! I personally love it!

But what is the prompt of the essay, only then can I tell you if the method is too risky or just right.

Haha, sorry. that. lol, that's for reviewing. :D

Wow, this is totally unique!

When I get down to the 4th point, it somehow is quite different from the other ones in terms of the way you write; it becomes more of a standard approach.

In my opinion, if you wanna write like a recipe, keep it like one. Make it coherent from the beginning to the end.

Then again, this is only my opinion and I'm not sure whether the AO would luv so much creativity. But I think it's worth a try.

Good luck!

Impressive and very creative! I love it! I really think this will work. Some suggestions are to improve on vocabulary. You use great a lot. Try to remove it and substitute with something else. Also compared to the other ones I did not like the ending of three. Lastly change the title of list of ingredients to something that incorporates northwestern. Like list of ingredients for the perfect school. I know that sounds lame but maybe you can come up with something better.

Hope that helps.
Help me with my why Columbia?

I think your essay shows a lot of passion and enthusiasm! However, I am worried that the tone may be just a bit too informal. These are college admissions officers and I think while they do indeed want to see your love for the college, they would also be impressed by a degree of sophistication. Hope I've helped!