Here's my UC #2 personal statement. I need some corrections and suggestions for me. Thank you for proofreading my essay.
Frankly, I spit into a river daily. Every time I cross a bridge on the way to my apartment, I just spit my saliva into the river beneath it. I am superstitious, that saliva is my pinpoint marking the terminal of an out-door day and the beginning of a fresh one. The message that comes with it is "I am alive and well". I think about how fortunate I am to be part of humanity and what a radiant future is waiting for me. "I am fortunate and young, now."
All of this began when our family moved a new flat, which is fairly far from the closest bus stop. Every morning and evening, heading to the bus stop, I walk over the bridge to go to school and vice versa. Some days after staring this route, I found that I habitually spit and spitting into that river means something special to me. When I spat, I felt secure and relieved because I believed that I am sending a message to "The Thing" which I believe exists with the river as a transporter. It is such a rather long bridge that in the beginning, I had been spitting three times per crossing. But, I reduced this to once a cross because it felt un-environmental. Eventually, it became a habit for me.
Over a year after starting doing that "message-sending", gullible and young, I had come across a beautiful young woman whom I believed would be the love of my life. One fine day when she was coming to my home with me, I told her about this behavior that it is the way I communicate with "The Thing" himself. Merrily, she mimicked me and spat into the river. It was one of the happiest moments of my life and I recall that moment vividly. Seeing how lovely she is, I was a fortunate man.
Time flew when I was with her. Importantly, I recognized something significant was hiding behind her. That was our future. I am a father in that future. The future with three little kids playing hide & seek with daddy and mamma calling them for the dinner. The future with the family going on a picnic on a gentle Saturday evening watching the sun set over the lake. These simple but powerful thoughts encouraged me to start preparing for the family that I will build in the future. Driven and motivated, I began to use my time as productive as I can to become better because I will become a father who will protect my children, model what a good man is like, let them pursue what they want and, importantly, dedicate everything I have to them. I was spitting with a wide smile these days.
Sadly, "everything has its end" didn't go around our relationship (?). Initially I was morose and solitary, but it finally dawned on me that the end was a good thing because it is a sign of something else is about to begin. I remembered that I had learned things from the relationship. These were the realizations of "What is the chief goal of my life?" and "Whom I should love the most?". Although only as we grow into adulthood do we know what it is actually like to be a parent in a broader context, now I can promise I won't leave my family behind. That's the family I will build with my hands and I will love them even I don't know their names at present. Perhaps I have only seen the tip of the iceberg, the relationship just for eleven months taught me life lessons about responsibility and what it means to be a man with a family. I will become "Daddy" whether "Mommy" is her or not. I spat three times that day.
In the end, that was the experience I would remember and think for the rest of my life, I assume. Every time I spit into that river, I simply remember to step forward and do something for my future family. It's really useful to have that kind of motivator on my way (to and from) home.
- FranklyFirst of all , I spit into a river daily. Every time I ALWAYS cross a bridge on the way to my apartment,
-I just spit my saliva into the river beneath it THAT I am superstitious, that
-S aliva is my pinpoint marking the terminal of an out-door day and the beginning of a fresh one START. The message that comes with it is "I am alive and well".
- I think about how fortunate THAT I am to be part of humanity and what a radiant future is waiting for me. "I am fortunate and young, now."
-All of this began when our family moved a new flat, which is fairly far from the closest bus stop. ---Every morning and evening DAY, heading to the bus stop, I walk over the bridge to go to school and vice versa.
-Some days after staring this route, I found that I AM habitually spit and spitting into that river means something special to me. When I spat, I felt secure and relieved because I believed that I am sending a message to "The Thing" which I believe exists with the river as a transporter.
