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'Stand up and try again' - Trinity college - Personal integrity contract


Cermi 4 / 12  
Dec 27, 2009   #1
Trinity's Integrity Contract articulates our expectations of honesty, personal responsibility, active consideration of others, and respect for our community. What personal "integrity contract" do you employ in your own life?

When you are young you have to do what you are told by your parents and when you grow you have to do what laws say. However, neither of those can be considered an integrity contract. Personal integrity contract differs from them in one extremely important aspect - it is voluntary. You alone set your own rules, you alone decide whether to obey them or not. However, no one is completely immune to his surroundings and everyone is influenced by different views and opinions. In my case, these were Scout law, the Commandments and later Liberalism.

For most people integrity contract means only honesty, frankness and veracity. I agree that they are very important and I have always tried to behave in accordance to them, especially since I joined the Scouts, who consider these features very important. Nevertheless I believe that its meaning should go much further. I completely agree with what Christopher Paolini wrote in his book Eldest: "Too many problems in this world are caused by men with noble dispositions nad clouded minds." Honesty without reason and logic is not enough, moreover, it can have very bad consequences. For example, thousands of honest people misguided by communism helped to get our country under socialist dictatorship for over 40 years.

For me, my integrity contract involves two aspects - being honest and responsible at all times, always tell the truth and help others as often as I can, while critically evaluate all information and facts, to be able to distinguish what is right and what is wrong. No one is perfect, and I must admit that I fail to follow my own rules much more often than I would like to, but it never stops me from standing up and trying again and again.

Please keep in mind that I'm not a native speaker...
Thanks
hbrad8002 9 / 20  
Dec 27, 2009   #2
I believe this is more of a argumentative/expository type of essay. There is no "you" element in here. The admission committee wanna get to know about you, not all these philosophies. You must incorporate all these information into your essay: what you do, what you think, what you feel... In simple words, you must be able to tell the reader what quality you employ in life and what you do/think to follow that quality.

For example "for me, my integrity contract includes honesty and responsibility. everyday I tell the truth. everyday I take everything seriously."

Perhaps you're not familiar with what the admission committee is looking for. So try to rewrite it :)
OP Cermi 4 / 12  
Dec 27, 2009   #3
Thanks for your comment. I'm definitely not familiar with that. Moreover, I'm not used to write this kind of essays, all we write is something you would probably called "argumentative essay".

btw could you have a look at my other essays here? I'd be very grateful for it :-)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 2, 2010   #4
all we write is something you would probably called "argumentative essay".

Well, this one is called an expository essay, and that means you are exposing something and explaining it.

Start by saying something intriguing to get the reader's attention. I think you did a good job of that here:
When you are young you have to do what you are told by your parents, and when you grow you have to do what laws say.

And at the end of your first para, you should give a thesis statement that answers the question they posed. You did a good job with this, too! Let's use a set of 2 dashes, though----> In my case, these were Scout law, the Commandments, and -- when I got older -- Liberalism.

And one more change:
For me, m My integrity contract involves two aspects - being...

:-)


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