Why Stanford "California Girls"

What makes Stanford a good place for you?

As philosopher and songsmith Katy Perry once said, "California Girls, we're unforgettable." As my college experience nears, I have taken her wisdom-filled words to heart. All joking aside, while I do yearn for a Katy-Perry like educational utopia, there are more serious reasons for my interest in Stanford.

Throughout high school, I have taken advantage of almost every history class offered. I was especially intrigued by the modern European societal structures I studied junior year. At Stanford, I hope to take advantage of the "History and Law" interdisciplinary track. It perfectly melds my currrent interests, allowing me to approach them from a variety of perspectives. All of the classes in the methodological cluster sound engaging, most of all "History of European Law." In addition, the program offers the opportunity to take classes at the law school, which would help confirm my interest in becoming a lawyer. Moreover, Stanford's unique quarter system allows one to take more courses than most other schools, which is a wonderful way to experience a wide selection of professors and topics.

Most of all, Stanford would draw me out of my comfort zone. I look forward to having my religious and political views challenged by some of the smartest, most diverse students in the world. It also doesn't hurt that the weather is a vast improvement over Detroit's, where it seems to always be precipitating in one fashion or another. While Katy Perry's vivid descriptions may draw me to the Stanford campus, I know the world-class educational opportunities will keep me there.

All comments appreciated.

Your Katie Perry twist is funny, but poorly implemented. In the first sentence, "
"As philosopher and song-smith Katy Perry once said, "California Girls, we're unforgettable." As my college experience nears, I have taken her wisdom-filled words to heart. All joking aside, while I do yearn for a Katy-Perry like educational utopia, there are more serious reasons for my interest in Stanford. " You say it an immediately move away from it, it's not the purpose of your essay (or even really related to it in any way you discuss) and as such it should be removed. It makes a good hook, but its never good practice to use a hook that doesn't relate to the topic you're discussing.

So, I would either discuss Katie Perry's influence more (a difficult task, since it will be hard to draw meaning into the essay, but if accomplished could be a wonderful boon to your application) or scrap her all together.

Good luck!

I am relatively passionate about music, perhaps I could relate that in some way? I had the Katy Perry idea first and then sort of wrote an essay around it because I thought it was quite humorous, haha. Any suggestions?

The Perry thing is just a joke. It is not strong enough to be included unless you can make it meaningful somehow. It should somehow be related to your MAIN theme for the essay. What is the main theme?

If you tell a bunch of weak ideas, they do not add up to a strong idea. Talking about the quarter system, the weather, and looking forward to having views challenged... these do not help.

This is the good part: At Stanford, I hope to take advantage of the "History and Law" interdisciplinary track. It perfectly melds my currrent current interests, allowing ....sound engaging, most of all "History of European Law."---I would like to see more about specific goals and intentions pertaining to your plan regarding law and what you want to do in the near and distant future. Impress the reader with your tenacious focus on academic and professional goals! :-)