Stanford, intellectual vitality prompt: "The steady walk of the upright bass..."

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development. (250 word limit)

The steady walk of the upright bass, the syncopated beat of the snare drum, and the juicy melody of the tenor saxophone. So this was jazz-a music style not bound by the notes on the sheet music, which gave curious musicians the freedom to explore an infinite number of ways to perform a single song. It was my very first session as a member of the jazz band; I felt myself shudder in excitement as I clumsily struck the last few chords on the piano, eager to learn the art.

I figured much later that because every note is played on the spot, jazz is mastered neither by learning music theory nor by practicing the blues scales, but simply by listening. It took me months of practice to perfect this craft; eventually, I got used to adjusting to different rhythms and started responding to new melodies. No longer playing awkward notes, I was surprised as the music started to become more like-jazz.

Listening thus became an integral part of my life, even in nonmusical situations. I found myself listening carefully for the slightest details everywhere, recognizing the distinct rhythms during calculus lectures, Socratic seminars, and casual conversations. I now knew how to respond to these melodies; I spoke in vivid language, shouting to my heart's content with my solos in the guise of dialogue-but kept my ears open in order to listen for what the others have to say.

I may not have answered the prompt correctly. I'm also worried about grammar...any help is appreciated!

Hiromu, don't worry about your response. It is a highly creative way of expressing your response to the prompt. You gave a very animated response that definitely showed two aspects of development in you as a person: your musicality through your learning how to play Jazz music, and your keen sense of observation, because of the way that you learned how to play the music genre sounds.

Now, with regards to your sense of observation, you certainly expressed the way that you learned how to listen and understand others because you had to learn how to play Jazz by observing others. However, when you talk about the way that your listening skills developed, try to be a bit more specific and apply it to either normal academic or everyday situations. That way you show the reviewer that your intellectual vitality extends not only to your academic, but your personal and social lives as well.

Thanks for the help!

Any other suggestions? Any comments would be appreciated :D