Stanford: Profile questions- favorite books, significant issues, etc

Stanford says, that is is ok to list and not use compleate sentances when answering the questions. But, they give you 250 characters. Any suggestions? If you guys could edit id appreciate it.

Any feed back is appreciated.

Thanks

Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or musical artists:

My favorite Authors includes, Malcolm Gladwell, James Baldwin and Howard Gardner.

My music includes, George Frideric Handel,Radiohead , Alpha Blondy, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix and The Strokes.

What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy?

Websites: Nytimes.com, Dwell.com , Twmotocross.com, news.stanford.edu and Facebook.com.

Magazines: Wired, Men's Health, Racer X, Car and Driver, Dwell, and Coste Nast Traveler.

What is the most significant challenge that society faces today?

The challenge of putting education and cultural values in front of money, so that greed and apathy are not resulting factors.

How did you spend your last two summers?

My summer of 2008 was spent working in the taro fields of Hana, Maui. I had a chance to learn about the cultural roots of my Hawaiian Ancestry. The summer of 2009 I traveled to Japan. My main focus of the trip was to reconnect with my Japaneses heritage and spend time with my family.

What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, sporting events, etc.) this past year?

My favorite event was this years Winter Olympics. Though all medal wining athletes were inspirational, I was especially astounded by the passion, progression, determination and hard work that was displayed by Shaun White and Lindsey Vonn.

What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed?

I would like to have experienced the feeling of change, power and unity of my Hawaiian people and culture in 1810. The time when King Kamehameha united the Hawaiian Islands, making it the Kingdom of Hawaii.

Yes: use complete sentences! No need to make yourself seem less serious than the other applicants who write complete sentences. Write some beautiful, complete sentences.

My favorite authors include , Malcolm Gladwell, James Baldwin and Howard Gardner.

...so that greed and apathy are not resulting factors don't say resulting factors. factors are causes of things, not really results.
What other words can you use? The sentence is complex and impressive already. How about making it simple:
so that greed and apathy no longer control us.

Use the "active voice":
I spent the summer of 2008 working in the taro fields of Hana, Maui.

I had a chance to learn about the cultural roots of my Hawaiian Ancestry. --- cool!

During:
During the summer of 2009 I traveled to Japan. My main focus of the trip was to reconnect with my Japaneses heritage and spend time with my family.

I felt like i should have used complete sentences, I shall go and revise, Thanks guys, helped a lot.

I think that you can getaway without using complete sentances on a question or two if the content really distinguishes you and you want to emphasize it. But for the rest some eloquent wording could help.

Why say newyorktimes.com when you can just say you read the New York Times? The Olympics was a nice touch. I had a few grammar suggestions but everyone else covered them above. Good luck!!!

Good point Sarah!

Thanks, everyone, for making this a great discussion.

I would advise you to form sentences, but make sure they cover all your interests, because that will give good impression on the admission officers!