I started clicking all the different tabs; My Stanford "Intellectual Vitality"

Hello?"
"Winston?"
"Yes, Pop, what is it?"
"I need you to watch my stocks for me."
"Wait, what?"
My dad hung up, and from the way his voice sounded, it looked like he wasn't going to be home for quite some time. After taking a few seconds to gather my thoughts, I made my way towards the computer, knowing absolutely nothing about the Stock Market. I hoped that I didn't have to make any important decisions and that my dad would come home in time to bail me out if something were to go wrong.

When I clicked the mouse to wake up the computer, my dad's E-Trade was already active. For a minute or two, I just sat there trying to figure out what was happening. Then I caught hold of a simple pattern that captured my curiosity; every green was a plus and every red was a negative. After that, I started clicking all the different tabs on the screen and gradually uncovered new information about the Stock Market. Eventually, I gained a basic understanding of how it worked. However, that's where my discoveries ended that day, as my dad came home.

Even though that was a relatively small event in my life, it sparked my interest in economics. I wanted to know why things such as gas prices kept going up and down, and I wanted to find out what role the government played. Now, my questions are different, but I still want to know the answers.

Hello,
your story is very well written and very interesting. You start off very well, but the end is a little lacking. I would suggest going into more detail about what you did while you dad was gone. How did you find out what to do? what exactly did you learn?

Also, add more about what you are interested in now, other than gas prices. what do you want to do with economics.

I am not sure if this is a college entrance essay, but if it is, you need to work in a thesis and organize your essay through main points. You can use your story to start your essay, but you need to go into more detail about why you should be accepted into their university. You need more than that you became interested in economics. How did this guide you in high school and your younger years? what did you do that was related to economics? etc.

Hope this helped.