I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia; Common App

So because I moved schools from Indonesia to America in my junior year I am required to write this. How is it?

I started my education in a Japanese school, in Indonesia. I always had a desire to go back to California one day for pursuing higher education and career. Before entering 9th grade, I asked if I could move to an English speaking school to help me improve my English skill and there was a perfect British education system in my city for me. My first year, my grades were not good because I was in the process of getting used to the new systems; however, I was determined and fast learner. I remember staying after school and having extra sessions with the teacher to catch up with all my studies. By my 10th grade, my grades were starting to show some improvements. Finally I had the confident in pursuing my dream; deciding to move to Stevenson school from 11th grade. Once again, a new transition to an American system school was a struggle, but I was able to improve my grades and receive an honor roll within a year. Therefore, I believe that my 9th grade grades are not unable to represent my full academic abilities as it took some time to adapt to the new educational systems. Also, the school I attended for my first two years of high school was an education system for the Singapore-Cambridge IGCSE "O" level examination. All my grades recorded was purely based on the grade I received from my mock IGCSE examinations I took in the end of every term.

This section is required because you indicated one following situation earlier in the application:
You have had or will have an interruption in your education.
Please use the space below to provide details of the applicable situation.

Japanese school in Indonesia


to pursue a higher education and get a job.


you asked who?


English-medium school to help improve my English.
(then you can say whoever you asked said yes and then move on to this)
I then went to a British education school in my city which was perfect for me.


My grades were not good in my first year because I wasn't used to the education system there. But I was a fast learner, and was determined to do better.


improvement


Finally I became confident, and decided to move in 11th grade to Stevenson school, an American education school.


I struggled again with the transition to a new education system, but I was able to improve my grades and received an honor roll within a year.


All my grades recorded were purely

This is not very clear to me :( What's special about the 9th grade? Also, were you given a chance to move into a school that teachers in English medium? I think you should have said those things more straight. Avoid going into too much detail that may sometimes confuse the reader :(