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NC State is a community that is strong because of the diversity of our perspectives and experiences



adepani3112 5 / 7  
Aug 9, 2016   #1
Ever since I was little, I have been taught that diversity is what brings us together. Without diversity, we as human beings wouldn't have been able to advance as far as we have today. Diversity isn't just about religion, culture, or the color of our skin. Diversity pertains to a much broader spectrum which includes everything we do on a daily basis. Diversity even applies to how we eat cereal! Some people like to put the milk in first while others, like to put the cereal in first. This unique distinction ranging from each human is what allows us to accomplish such marvelous achievements.

I was born in the city of Amreli in the state of Gujarat, India. When I was seven years of age, I moved to the United States. My parents saw this as a magnificent opportunity to ripen my educational career. At first, everything was different, but slowly as the days passed, I became accustomed to the new way of life. I can proudly say that I contribute to diversity by being the first person in my family to completed all three levels of education, elementary, middle school, and high school, in the United States.

While this may sound ordinary, I have learned much about my future career dreams and passion as I have marched through the hurdle of life. My passion, is helping people. Just the thought of helping those who are underprivileged and those who are overlooked by the constant movement of society gives me a sense of being human. People believe success lives their job title, their clothes, or how much money they have. For me, all that is useless. Success for me, lies in the constant improvement of those who are less fortunate. Now when I say helping, I don't mean being a doctor, I mean through technology. As I have mentioned before, I believe that through combination of different ideas/perspectives, we can enhance human life through technology.

Being at a university where diversity is one of its core values, I believe I can achieve, along with those who are like-minded, a generation where a mother doesn't have to worry about what to feed her child from day to day or a father who struggles to find a job because he doesn't have access to a good education. A generation where everyone has a door to success through the use of technology. I want to create apps and software where people around the world no matter how rich or poor, have the ability to excel in any form of education they wish. From basic to master level classes, I want to create an online system where anyone can learn, and what better place to start my dream than at one of the top IT universities in the world! With the diversity that NC State has, I can share and develop ideas from people all around the world to help kick-start this program! NC State is, and always will be the best choice.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Aug 10, 2016   #2
Hi Ann, below is the final leg of remarks for your essay;

- People believe that success
- livesis measured through their job title, their clothes,
- As I have mentioned before( when you say, " As I have mentioned" this action happened before, therefore, when you state, " As I have mentioned before", this is redundant ) ,

- I believe that through the combinedcombination of different ideas/perspectives,

There you have it Ann, the conclusion that you draw in this essay is pretty strong that I don't see the need of correcting it, therefore, good job on that, also, the above remarks are very minor, be cautious, once again, when it comes to your word choice, make sure that they're not redundant, make sure that it will not affect the overall outcome of the essay. Remember, there's only one chance to get to this scholarship, give it your best. Should you need further assistance, do let us know, we are here to help.


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