Hello!!
So I am about to submit my graduate school applications, and I need to trim my SOP down in addition to needing to add more content.
My only length limit is 5 double spaced pages, so although trimming is needed it is not like this needs to be 300 words or anything.
If anyone could give me feedback about the things that aren't relevant, are coming off whiny or naïve, or any other major errors that would be great; I know that I have sort of a wordy and superfluous way of writing, but it is quite difficult for me to cut own words out since I choose them with intention.
Thank you thank you!
I am willing to give nearly any kind of help in return!!!
"The universe appears to me like an immense, inexorable torture-garden. Passions, greed, hatred, and lies; law, social institutions, justice, love, glory, heroism, and religion: these are its monstrous flowers and its hideous instruments of eternal human suffering."
Anguish is arguably the hallmark of the human condition. That which we give unto others, and that which we experience often largely defines us; and yet it is as if we labor as a species to force this suffering to endure. Religion, which has been of the utmost importance to a large percent of the world's inhabitants for much of human history, is to this day at times used as a tool in the propagation of hatred, intolerance, stigmas, ignorance, and increased human distress. My mother's trust in her church has led her to reject treatment for diagnosed mental disorders for over 20 years due to a belief that her symptoms are punishments, and that she must deal with them through the church to find relief. As a small child I was taught by my church that the most noble goal for a woman to have is to be a strong support for her husband, and to not bring shame to her family by being barren or unfaithful; calling into question my very worth as a member of the 51% of the global population that many religions attempt to stifle the autonomy of. Instead of promoting equality and acceptance, often religious groups cause severe self-loathing, anxiety, and potentially death in people who feel as though they do not live up to the expectations of their faith. Instead of bringing people together, religion is capable of forcing them apart through an elitist system that leaves many people deemed unworthy, and therefore mistreated by followers of the faith. To me, this misuse of one of the strongest forces ever available to human kind is the paramount calamity in history; and the most meaningful cause that I can fathom devoting my life to. Gaining the privilege and opportunity to empirically demonstrate the follies of non-egalitarian ideologies and behaviors, and to teach the necessity of opposition to these social injustices would not only provide me with a life and career filled with purpose, but it would also allow me to aid in furthering the gallant cause of promoting social justice and equality; for it is our responsibility to ever progress for the sake of those who may reap the rewards.
In the matter of specifics, it is the work of Dr. Wade C. Rowatt and Megan Johnson-Shen on the effects of religiosity on prejudice that I would like to further; in addition to exploring means to lessening and eventually eradicating social injustices. **MORE TO BE ADDED HERE ABOUT RESEARCH INTERESTS AND CAREER GOALS**
I have been highly involved in two Experimental Psychology laboratories at REDACTED University since the fall of 2012. In October 2012 I began my position as Research Assistant in Dr. REDACTED Laboratory, and accepted the position of Laboratory Manager in August 2013. Our work is primarily focused on uncovering information about the purported "bilingual advantage" in executive function. I have aided in the development and data collection of several studies, including Paap & Sawi, 2013, Sawi & Paap, 2013, Paap & Liu, 2013, Paap, 2013 (currently in manuscript form), and a study that we are currently running participants in. In the spring of 2014 I will present our Simultaneous or Early Bilingualism Does Not Lead to Bilingual Advantages in Executive Processing poster at the annual Association for Psychological Science conference with first authorship, and our Highly Fluent Balanced Bilingualism Does Not Lead to Bilingual Advantages in Executive Processing poster at the annual meeting of the Cognitive Neuroscience Society with third authorship; both of which have been accepted for presentation. During my involvement with this laboratory I have held many responsibilities which have included but are not limited to: designing tasks to be used for in-laboratory studies with reaction time software, collaborating on research design, collaborating with other authors in the field including faculty outside of SFSU, becoming familiar with practical statistical data analysis, using SPSS to analyze and interpret research results, collecting and scoring raw data, distributing study materials to participants, recruiting and scheduling participants, and delegating tasks to the other members of the laboratory. Additionally, I am currently in the process of designing a new website to represent the current laboratory members and publications. *Sentence about how this experience has affected me*
As a Research Assistant in Dr. REDACTED Laboratory since December 2012, I have begun the development of my own study, taken the lead role on the thesis of a graduate student, aided in additional projects, and have greatly expanded my understanding of the field of Social Psychology. Over the past several months I have been working with Dr. Tate on the formation of a study that utilizes Heider's Balance Theory on a more general scale to determine whether or not negative attitudes towards out-groups can be reduced or positive attitudes can be increased by introducing common interests and disinterests as the object (x) of a triangular interpersonal relationship. This experiment is currently meant to be conducted in two parts; the second contingent upon a rejection of the null hypothesis in the first study, and focused on the differences in **OFFICIAL WORD**balance!!!creation for people with varying levels of religiosity and religious fundamentalism. Concurrently, since the summer of 2013 I have been lead of a project regarding online interracial interactions of which I have been responsible for Research Assistant training, preparing data for coding, participant scheduling, participant recruiting, and engaging participants in the study. Furthermore, I was involved in the data coding process of a project regarding essentialist language use in political campaigns. Aside from specific involvements, I have also been responsible for more general Research Assistant duties such as contribution in study development, critically analyzing research, and familiarizing myself with a variety of statistical methods and their practical uses. *Sentence about how this experience has affected me*
During the Fall 2012 semester I also had the opportunity of being a Temporary Research Assistant in Dr. REDACTED Laboratory; during which I was involved in a short-term project requiring that I subjectively code paragraphs written by participants in response to a visual stimuli that they had received according to the emotions that I detected present within the responses.
My submersion into the collegiate realm began at the age of 12 when I first enrolled in a university-level psychology course at the California State University of Los Angeles after being nominated for and accepted by an Early Entrance Program therein. It was there that I took my first psychology and philosophy courses; and even after extensive academic exploration, once I was officially entering college 3 years later I knew exactly in which major I belonged. In May 2013, I received my Bachelor of Arts Magna Cum Laude from San Francisco State University in Psychology with a minor in Philosophy and Religion after 3 years. At the time of graduation I had an upper-division grade point average (GPA) of 3.90, and a cumulative GPA of 3.67. Additionally, I was recognized on the Dean's List every semester during which I was a full-time student, as well as being a member of Phi Theta Kappa- an official honors society recognized by the American Association of Community Colleges. After experiencing a GPA set-back by receiving my only "C" grade in Probability and Statistics during my first semester of college after high school, I had the opportunity of taking Psychological Statistics with Dr. Ryan Howell at SFSU, in which I gained the knowledge necessary to receive an "A" grade. Additionally, for this class it was mandatory to attend weekly laboratory sessions to learn how to analyze data with SPSS; therefore I expanded my working knowledge of utilizing statistical software and had that knowledge reinforced through attending regimented SPSS training sessions. Also notable among the plethora of undergraduate courses that I successfully completed were a Research Methods in Psychology course instructed by Dr. Avi Ben-Zeev, and a Controversial Issues in Psychology course-a Graduate Writing Assessment Requirement course-instructed by Dr. Jeffrey Cookston. In both of these classes I was required to write a full-length paper mirroring a psychological study fit for publishing; for which I had to either collect or use existing data to conduct a statistical analysis to determine the findings of the paper. Research Methods required that I design and implement an unofficial study, and subsequently analyze the collected data and report my findings in the form of a conference-style presentation and an essay written in APA Writing Style. I conducted a pseudo-study attempting to induce stereotype threat by making salient the stereotype that people of lower socioeconomic status (SES) are less intelligent than people of higher SES. I attempted to do this by showing women images of non-famous women clearly of high socioeconomic status (either a positive or a negative portrayal of high SES), and then engaging them in a Trail-Making Task that they were told was an informal measurement of IQ. For data analysis I used a 2 X 3 between subjects ANOVA, and an independent-samples t-test. In my Controversial Issues in Psychology course I attempted to determine whether children of parents who could be categorized as using the Authoritarian Parenting Style had lower expressive vocabularies and/or showed evidence of utilizing more words indicative of a negative life outlook. For the analysis of these pre-collected data, I conducted a one-way ANOVA and a bivariate correlation in SPSS. Although neither of these papers were published, they were both written with impeccable attention to the nuances of APA style, and allowed me to engage in the type of writing that I hope to be able to have a career in.
My involvement in and satisfactory completion of university-level work at an age considerably younger than most was primarily made possible by the variety of intellectually stimulating environments that I was planted and encouraged to thrive in from a very young age. At four years old I was reading well above the average level for my age, and was subsequently placed straight into the 1st grade shortly after my 6th birthday. Part of the way through my 1st grade curriculum, I was transferred into the 2nd grade to be continually provided with the proper amount of mental stimulation. At the completion of my second year of elementary school, I was administered a standard WISC IQ test at the suggestion of my previous instructor. The results of that test consequently got me accepted as a member of the Mensa organization, as well as a seven year old 3rd grade student within a Highly Gifted Magnet program. I continued along the path of accelerated education when I entered an International Baccalaureate program within the middle school that I attended. There I was nominated for the National Student Leadership Foundation, which for 5 years allowed me to attend National Student Leadership Conferences and have access to a wide variety of academic resources, in addition to eventually becoming a member of the Congressional Youth Leadership Council's alumni association Legacy of Leadership. The conferences hosted by this foundation not only aim at improving and building leadership skills in exceptional youth, but they intend to develop within young students the skills necessary to excel throughout their educational careers. Shortly after attending my first conference, I was nominated for the Early Entrance Program at CSULA, and after only a brief time received a Certificate of Achievement from Cal State L.A.'s Search for Exceptional Academic Achievement Talent Search for outstanding performance on the Washington Pre-College Test. These experiences, coupled with the mentally stimulating resources provided by the Mensa organization allowed me to receive my high school diploma in three years, receive a perfect score on the English-Language Arts section of the California High School Exit Examination, in addition to several Advanced Placement credits and an AP Scholar Award. It was also in high school that I began attempting to find ways to better the quality of life for people by joining Key Club, engaging in extracurricular community service, and by creating a social action club entitled C.H.A.N.G.E. aimed at minimizing global injustices and providing funding local aid-granting organizations.
**FINAL PARAGRAPH TYING TOGETHER LIFE EXPERIENCE AND NEED FOR DEGREE**
