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Personal Statement on applying major transfer from Bsc (Hons) Property Management to Bsc in Nursing



aloha89i 1 / 1  
Aug 27, 2017   #1

transferring my major to nursing



Dear Sir / Madam

This letter is written to address the reasons for my application for transferring my major from Bsc (Hons) in Property Management to Bsc (Hons) in Nursing.

My mind of changing my major from my original major to nursing was consolidated after the service learning trip, which is offered by the School of Nursing, in Rwanda. During the trip, I realized that nursing is a profession providing not only physical and medical care, but also psychological care to the clients. The physical caring services are able to alleviate the discomfort and negative feelings of the clients and the sense of caring delivered can give mental support to the suffered. Compared to helping the clients by providing opinions in real estate field, helping the clients to be recovered from illnesses by providing caring services provides me with more satisfaction. The smile and appreciation for our aid for their health status from the villagers are still in my heart. We can earn money with satisfactory health status but we cannot purchase health with money. Therefore, it is found that helping others to regain or maintain their health is worth more than helping others to earn more money. Among various health professionals, a nurse is the role spending most of the time for providing holistic care for suffered clients and patients. With a large amount of time spent on patients, I believe a nurse is the sole health profession enabling me to understand the suffered in depth and thus providing corresponding care plans for them accordingly so that they can be offered with both physical and mental care precisely.

Moreover, I found that I am not interested in the job nature of Building and Real Estate after the internship programme, which was started after the service learning trip, in this summer. Originally, I thought that I would be suitable for working in an office and the job nature fits my interest. However, it is revealed that the job nature and real practices of this field are extremely commercial-oriented, which I am entirely not interested. I cannot find the meaning of such kind of jobs since I cannot even apply what I have learnt in the University. Helping others to gain more investment return is not meaningful for me but helping others to be recovered does. Compare with the former, the latter is my honest interest and dream.

Apart from the personal interest and experience, my motivation of becoming a nurse is stimulated by the holistic care for me and my family during the last period of time of my mother's life in the Intensive Care Unit. My mum suddenly fell into a coma and sent to Accident and Emergency Unit due to Acute Myocardial Infarction in mid-July. I remembered my brain and heart were filled with the feeling of powerlessness because I am not able to help the one who I loved most. In this period, the strongest alleviation of my sense of powerlessness came from the ICU nurses because they are the caregiver for my mum and they know the situation of my mum. Though their explanation, I could feel the emotional and psychological support since the nurses enabled me to know what could we do and what was happening to her. They let me know there was something I can help my mother. Also, the firm connection of the medical equipment, as well as the tidy face and dressing indicated the nurses paid their almost efforts for my mum. Knowing my mother was under the care of the professional nurses is the strongest cure for my anxiety. In the end, my mother was confirmed to suffer from Extensive Brain Injury and we decided to stop the medical treatment and equipment to mitigate the pain of my mum, the nurses still showed their care by carrying out proper "last office" procedures for her. Although the fact is cruel, I am touched by the holistic care from the nurses since it is the largest support for my family. They provided physical care for my mum, as well as emotional, psychological and spiritual care for me and my family. It inspires me that being a nurse is not only able to offer holistic care for the suffered person but also his/her family and friends. In addition, realizing my interest and chase for it is one of the wishes to me from my mum. Therefore, I want to be a nurse to mitigate the burden for the patients and their families and friends by providing holistic care, as well as fulfilling her wish.

After reflecting on my prior courses, personal interests and experiences, I have realized that I enjoy working with activities related to health care field, and pursuing a degree in Nursing in The Hong Kong Polytechnic University would best prepare me for this because this is the best way for me to become a nurse by offering me both practical and theoretical education. Thus, I sincerely hope my application can be considered and approved. Thank you very much.

Yours faithfully

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Aug 27, 2017   #2
Marco, stop using the term "it is found". The proper term is "I found out" or "I discovered", or "I came to realize that". Never say "it is found" because you cannot refer to yourself as an it. Also, the essay is extremely long but doesn't really hit the mark when it comes to explaining your decision to shift careers. You need to rearrange the essay by first explaining, in short form, why you were first interested in a real estate career. From there, transition into the ICU care your mother received and make that the catalyst for your desire to shift careers / change your college major. Only after to create these establishing factors can you present the information about the field trip and how it solidified your desire to become a nurse. Try to create a short but informative essay. You have written 808 words in an essay that should be complete within 500 - 750 words. Don't you have a word limit on the letter? Most colleges and universities limit the word count for the transfer letters so you should make sure to double check the requirement for your letter. Do your best to explain yourself in no more than 3 paragraphs. Any longer than that and you tend to lose the interest of the reviewer. Specially since you are telling such a long story. Keep the story short and just focus on necessary information. Shorten the paragraphs as best as you can. That will help to create a more interesting and easier to read essay on the part of the reviewer.
OP aloha89i 1 / 1  
Aug 27, 2017   #3
Thank you very much for your comment! I will try my best to shorten the paragraph, although there is no such word limit.

However, since the ICU care happened after my trip, should I still write about ICU before the trip?

Again, please receive my sincere appreciation for your inspiring view!


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