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Personal Statement for Undergraduate Program in Computer Science



anon123 1 / 2  
Dec 10, 2018   #1
First of all, thanks for reading and helping me. This is my first time to write a PS. I would love to get comments about my mistakes if any. All the personal detail has been censored.

all about me



PS instruction:
"The personal statement is all about YOU. We expect to find in your personal statement your strength, your passion, your interest, your future goals, or any information you feel will be of interest to the selection panel."


I have always been attracted to the computers since I was a kid. Back to the time when I was 6, my parents brought home a computer from their workplace so that my mother could get her work done while being pregnant. It was my first time to see a computer system in real life, also the first time I've had an accident with a PC. Being a curious kid, I always had the eagerness to learn how things work. Therefore, I tried to copy what my parents did, including changing the hard drive's password. As a result, my father had to buy an alternative hard drive, which cost a fortune. Although I was forbidden from using the PC again, my passion for computer has never ended.

A few years later, I went to secondary school. In 8th grade, the Informatics teacher introduced to my class a programming language called Pascal. I still remember the day when I wrote my first lines of code in "Hello World!" program. From that day onwards, I've had a new hobby, which is to code and to solve maths problem with Pascal. After a month, using my basic knowledge in programming and mathematics, I wrote my first program - a calculator. At that moment, I decided that I would be a programmer in the future because creating a product using my own lines of code was such a satisfying experience.

With my great enthusiasm for Informatics, I registered myself for the specialized class of Computer Science in ***. In grade 11 and 12, I took part in school's team for national olympiad in informatics. It was such a memorable and meaningful time for me since I've had a chance to push myself out of the comfort zone to compete with excellent students all over the country. In order to say thank to my teachers who gave me priceless knowledge, I came up with an idea that I would create an online judge for students to submit their computer science exercises. Therefore,*** was released.

The more I know about ***, the more I believe this is a perfect place for me to spend my university years. Throughout my whole life, I've met a lot of great teachers and talented students who have guided me to where I am today. And I think that *** will be a great choice for my next destination as it offers me a lot of opportunities to broaden my knowledge in many aspects. *** not only offers highly ranked Computer Science program but also encourages cultural diversity which creates a huge chance for me to learn more about people from many other parts of the world. To become a successful programmer and to own a software company is my cherished wish, and I believe that *** will allow me to fulfill my dream. With strong motivation and passion, I look forward to challenging myself by studying abroad in such a global-class university like ***.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Dec 11, 2018   #2
Mohammed, the essay works but could be improved. The last part about the choice of university, makes this decision sound so light and trivial on your part. You need to deal with that part with as much seriousness as you did the personal information presentation. You have the opportunity to cut down on the personal aspect of the development of your interest in computer programming. Compress the paragraphs that are related to shorten these and allow you to have an additional word count to explain why you chose the university that you did.

Expand on the diversity program of the university which, I believe was the final consideration you had for choosing the university. Explain why you believe the school is perfect when it comes to your academic considerations. Perhaps discuss specific training programs, internships, and course offerings that strengthened your belief that the university will best prepare you to achieve your professional goals. Then explain what your professional goals are which finalized your university choice. Once you balance the discussion the essay should be in a better draft position for you to begin editing into a final form.


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