Statement of Purpose for transferring to UIUC as an undergraduate student withless than 300 words

I am currently a junior student at South China Agricultural University. Over the past two and a half years, I gained exposure to a wide variety of cutting-edge innovations in science and engineering through both course learning and extracurricular reading. As a result, I realized my true passion lies with robotics, smart device and artificial intelligence.

My future career goal is to become a creative engineer who masters both hardware and software expertise, and makes ground-breaking inventions. Current successful technological advances mostly revolve around virtual aspects of human life, such as social network and Big Data analysis. But in the long run, new and automatic machines will be in greater need since they can connect us more directly to the physical world.

Despite my positive study experience so far, my current institution is not strong enough in engineering, computer science and other foundational science subjects. This is why I decide to move on to another university. After going through a number of choices, I feel UIUC will be a perfect fit for me. First, I am deeply attracted to the impeccable reputation in research and education of UIUC. Second, your undergraduate curriculums strike a perfect balance between depth and breadth, offering a wide spectrum of courses that meet my learning needs. Moreover, faculty members are all distinguished scholars in various disciplines, ensuring high teaching quality in relevant courses. I also hope to take advantage of UIUC's rich research resources and implement my knowledge practically through experimental projects. Finally, I am very interested in pursuing a master or doctor degree at UIUC in the future. Therefore, earning the bachelor's degree in UIUC will provide coherence and preparation for that goal as well as familiarize me with the research work of potential graduate advisors. Thank you for your consideration.

Well, I believe you have definitely some good materials suitable for a Statement of Purpose. However, I also believe that the admission reviewer will not be impressed by reading this draft. You wrote like the most of the applicant in the sea of application. So your mission should be to write something different and Unique which can catch his/her attention.

You wrote so many irrelevant things in a 300-word essay. You specifically wrote in the 3rd paragraph that Despite my positive study experience so far, [...] I feel UIUC will be a perfect fit for me. Believe me, the tone and style you wrote there is not relevant to your purpose. Most of the applicant transfer to another university due to this reason and the admission team well know it. Instead of talking your institution is not strong enough in your field try to write something like "my current institution can not satisfy [...] So I drew to UIUC.

There is no need to write-- I am currently a junior student at South China Agricultural University. . The reviewer knows where and which institution you are from through your application.

In the first paragraph you wrote,"Over the past two and a half years, [...] smart device, and artificial intelligence.". Try to dwell on this on a statement of purpose.

Show the admission team how you came up with your passion for robotics, smart device, and artificial intelligence and how you inspired to pursue in your passion and more importantly how UIUC can help you to achieve your goal so that UIUC can be a perfect fit for you. In the 3rd paragraph, you wrote "I am deeply attracted to the impeccable reputation in research [...] my knowledge practically through experimental projects.". Try to dwell on these parts. What specific program or internship or whatever that meet you learning need and can help to pursue your passion. Talk about a specific group, club or anything that ensure high teaching quality in your appropriate courses. Try to cut unnecessary stuff write more about your future goal i.e "to be a creative engineer." I appreciate you wrote." by mastering both hardware and software expertise, your goal is to make ground-breaking inventions. Believe me, the admission team wants to read something like this. They are pretty tired of reading their own impeccable reputation.

No need to write Thank you for your consideration. and I am very interested in pursuing a master or doctor degree at UIUC in the future.. They need your UIUC interest in present days. Try to cut these things and make the personal statement shorter, clear and concise. 300 word does not mean you must write about 300 words. Shorter is always better. Good luck with your application..

.."FIRSTLY, ... SECONDLY, ..."

Thanks for your advice and I have rewritten it.Please take a look! :)

"Life is too short to be wasted on something that against my wills". This was the first thought that ...