"Steadfastness and my resolute nature" - my quality, talent

I would love it if you would give her a read. This is a very rough first draft, so be kind (but still critical).

Personal Statement 2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Of the personality traits that I possess the one that I appreciate most is my steadfast approach to my engagements. If I commit myself to something I ensure that I pursue it all the way to completion. This may make me appear somewhat hesitant in making major decisions because I feel that it is essential to be more cautious in weighing both the pros and cons. This may seem like a waste of time to some but I know that it is crucial to avoid unnecessary compliance in pursuit of an original goal even if said goal is later invalidated. I know that it is critical for me to stick with my ideals and commitments even when it may be challenging, if I were to do otherwise it just would not be right for me.

A prime example of my resolve is evident in my diet. Eighteen months ago I chose to give up the consumption of animal's flesh, milk, and eggs, and thus began my transition into veganism. Veganism came to me as a result of much internal analysis. During this period of examination I thought briefly about perhaps becoming vegetarian instead of going full on vegan; however it seemed like it would only be a partial solution to consume animal's milk or eggs as this still facilitates the captivity of animals living in far less than ideal situations. My vegan lifestyle has not only affected the ethics of my life but also introduced a much needed sense of discipline to not only my dietary regime but also my day to day living. Since I began my new lifestyle I have rarely looked back, for I know that if I ceased to follow through with it then not only would I be forsaking the animals but I would also be betraying myself and my own personal commitment.

My resolute nature has played an immense role in my development as a human being and without it I would not be the man who I am today. It is important for an individual to stand by his choices and I am proud to be the kind of person who carries out commitments. Some people would go so far as to color my unwavering nature negatively and call it instead simple stubbornness; however I know that if I don't have the tenacity to pursue my goals to completion then I will never be able to accomplish anything relatively worthwhile, and if an individual can't do something constructive with their life then they are hardly deserving of life itself. I for one am proud to be so relentless.

The notorious musical composer Ludwig van Beethoven once said, "This is the mark of a really admirable man: steadfastness in the face of trouble."

Explain this : "betraying the animals but I would also be betraying myself" ?
And I don't think you need the quote.

Got another revision, I'm submitting tommorrow so i would love feedback.

I'm sorry I did not get to talk about your essay before you submitted it, but I think it is very good! The only thing I want to mention is that this last sentence of the first paragraph I think an adjustment should be made. The last sentence, about "ideals and commitments," introduces a new idea. The rest of the paragraph is about being cautious and meticulous, so I think that should remain the theme. If you introduce a new theme at the end of the first paragraph, it muddles your meaning.

Yet, the essay is great. I just wanted you to look again at the end of that first paragraph, and google around about how to write a powerful thesis statement.

:-)