So, this is my first draft of any essay. I thought of hours on what to write, and I'm not even 90% sure this is correct. A little help, & some tips would be greatly appreciated! Thank you, for taking the time to read this.
Do I need more?
He wasn't always in my life, nor was he the most affectionate, but I knew he cared. My relationship with him wasn't always the most positive: I constantly felt out of place, and misunderstood by him. He always got onto me about speaking out of place, or doing something little that I wasn't supposed to "supposedly" do. Every morning, as a kid, I would wake up and think "what small thing I'd be chastised for this time?"
As I grew older I understood, more or less, why he was the way he is towards me. It was getting me ready for not only to go against little issues in the household, but in the world as well. I had mistaken all of the information I once knew, of him hating me, despising me, putting me off for his own. He knew I needed the extra push and challenged my mentality.
The contact it had on my life was tremendous; I grew patient, more self-aware, and my confidence even boosted because of him. He watched over me from a distance, and gave me the essential tools for my being.
He is my step dad. There's nothing I would have been able to do if it wasn't for the way he raised me- with an iron fist. He still, to this day, guides me. When I would start to give up on assignments, or doubted my education I would just think of all the way I've came because of him. I wouldn't be as driven as I am now. I am more than determined to make my goals happen, and it's because my dad stood there by my side.
I love the beginning. It draws in the reader, making them want to continue reading to find out who you're talking about. However, I feel that you should reveal your dad a little earlier in writing. In the second paragraph maybe, if you move or switch some sentences around. But that is just my take. As you kept going on about "him" in the second paragraph, I kind of lost focus and curiosity.
Hope I helped at all :)
I totally get what you mean! Thank you, for your input. I will most certainly change it up.
I had a little bit of feeling it got over used also, but a friend of mine said "use suspense" I went overboard. Haha, again, thank you! :)
Here is the redo - I also added a little bit here & there?
I still think It's a little short, or is it...okayish?
He wasn't always in my life, nor was he the most affectionate, but I knew he cared. My relationship with him wasn't always the most positive: I constantly felt out of place, and misunderstood by him. He always got onto me about speaking out of place, or doing something little that I wasn't supposed to "supposedly" do. Every morning, as a kid, I would wake up and think "what small thing I'd be chastised for this time?"
As I grew older I understood, more or less, why my step dad was the way he is towards me. It was getting me ready for not only to go against little issues in the household, but in the world as well. I had mistaken all of the information I once knew, of him hating me, despising me, putting me off for his own two kids. My dad knew I needed the extra push and challenged my mentality.
The contact it had on my life was tremendous; I grew patient because my dad always gently hushed me when my siblings would be disruptive; more self-aware because I had to not only listen, but watch over my brother & sister; and my confidence even boosted because of his constant praise when I achieved greatness. He watched over me from a distance, and gave me the essential tools for my being.
There's nothing I would have been able to do if it wasn't for the way he raised me- with an iron fist, but he did have his gentleness when it came to things I couldn't possibly control. He still, to this day, guides me, and is understanding. When I would start to give up on assignments, or doubted my education I would just think of all the way I've came because of him. I wouldn't be as driven as I am now. I am more than determined to make my goals happen, and it's because my dad stood there by my side.
