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This isn't the story of the valedictorian or athletic all-star who made the winning goal.



a_foster 2 / 2  
Dec 30, 2013   #1
By the end of the college application process, you will have probably written dozens of essays and responded to a multitude of questions. Use this opportunity to try something new.

This is not the story of the valedictorian or athletic all-star who made the winning goal. I am not the girl who won homecoming queen or was the popular cheerleader everyone wanted to be. I was not a national merit scholar, the greatest writer, or the best at history. I was not the most outspoken student nor the one to inspire the world with some fascinating story. This is not a story about someone blessed enough to move here from another country or someone who had to deal with some traumatic event. Let's face it, I have more questions than answers at this point in my life. But I am someone who is dedicated. The girl that stayed countless hours after practice getting in a few extra turns and leaps. I am the one known for being part of "the other cheerleaders", or the pom-line, and could not be more proud. I am the girl that is compared to her outgoing sister just because we are twins, yet am okay with that because I know we balance each other out. The one that learned through her sister that it is okay to speak out when you are passionate about something, and it is good to surround yourselves with others who share the same values as you. I am the student that wanted to be involved in every club and activity she could until graduation. I am the girl that secretly looked forward to her science classes in the morning, and still do. I am the student that used to get so upset when a "B" appeared on a paper, and learned to realize you cannot be the greatest at everything. The girl that has changed from the awkward freshman to a senior ready enough to face the future. This is the story of Alexandrea Foster.

cicijolee 5 / 19  
Dec 31, 2013   #2
Hi! Looking over your essay and wondering what kind of feedback are you looking for? Do you want edits or opinions or both? It might help people to review your essay if you tell us what you're worried about or looking for :)

My opinion is that, I think the college is really looking for something creative that's unlike another essay answer. I feel that a lot of people will probably go for the same thing as you, listing a bunch of things that defines them. It's creative but not really "new" if a lot of other people do it.
boston1002 2 / 19  
Dec 31, 2013   #3
You should make this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory themed! You have the golden ticket to explore the world and you've chosen Notre Dame. Everything you've done in your life and put it into one essay. Add dialogue! Go wild! Make this essay fun to write. Show Notre Dame you've embraced their prompt. Make it into a speech!
AlekaAlika 1 / 1  
Dec 31, 2013   #4
Hi! I see what kind of method are you using, but how said <cicijolee> it is to typical and too boring now. Try to start(first sentence) with something interesting, with the HOOK or with the Question, maybe like ''What are you waiting from me?'' and then you can briefly speak about how different you are, that your life not like others...

Good luck :D


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