We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it.(*)(100 words or fewer):
I have fun doing it
I am a storyteller. When I was eight years old, my father came home with a bulky gray camera and a box of colorful floppy disks. I would spend the next few months capturing meaningful moments in my life, filling the disks with dogs, birthday cakes, and friendships.These first few photographs taught me that words are unnecessary. Stories are told through my viewfinder; emotions are captured, and every detail is stored. I still carry a camera with me everywhere I go, constantly searching the landscape for a new narrative.
I acctually thought you were a storyteller that narrates stories to kids, 😂. In my honest opinion, I think you should make 'storyteller' your title and 'I love doing it for fun' the hook of the essay, let it be a paragraph on its own, to make the reader crave for more, then everything else follows. Then maybe as your last sentence of the paragraph, say, I go, constantly searching the landscape for a new narrative, with a new story in each.
I'm not actually sure where the "I have fun doing it" part came from. That wasn't in the essay when I copied it.
But I think the different use of the word storyteller makes the essay kind of unique but if it is misleading in a wrong way I will consider changing it.
The "I am a storyteller" is actually supposed to be in a paragraph by itself as you suggested.
Thank you for your feedback and sorry for the weird formatting
... came home with a bulky (USE A BETTER ADJECTIVE HERE gray camera ...
I would spend use "I spent" here because the tense is much more appropriate the next few (...) in my life, filling the disks with ...I mean , we do get the picture here but you sould try something like ".....filling the disks with lots of joyful happenings which were soon to be memories.
... taught me that words are unnecessary. ... there are other ways of telling stories that didnt involve sitting down around the campfire for hours .Stories are toldYou could replace this with something like "I could tell stories' through my viewfinder add a "where" here emotions are captured, and every detail is stored.AT THIS POINT , FIND A MORE SUITABLE LINK BETWEEN THIS CONCLUDING STATEMENT AND THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE
I still carry a camera with me ...THIS IS A WONDERFUL CONCLUSION
The essay was beautiful in general although you didn't exactly answer the question. Yes , you are a story teller in your own way , that is , via your knack for voluntary photography but I feel as though you should give them a touch of why you enjoy this but not spend too much talking about this because you have a limited number of words. Other than that , your essay is awesome !
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15470 Jenna, you are not so much a storyteller in this narrative as you are a keeper of memories. I wouldn't approach this statement response from a storyteller angle. Instead, I would call myself a keeper of memories. After all, each picture that you take has a story and memory attached to it. However, I don't see where "just for the fun" of it comes in the narrative. While you did learn something about communication from the activity, what other pleasure do you derive from it? You need to highlight the "fun"portion in it. Not all of the essays need to relate to your chosen major in response to the question. Some of them want to know who you are as a person, rather than a student. What do you do to relax? That it's what they want to know. How do you spend your down time? What relaxed you? What hobbies do you engage in? Information that tells the reviewer about how you spend your spare time will tell him what kind of activities you might enjoy doing as a member of their student community. Go for an activity that you do now that you are a matured person. Or explain why you still enjoy this activity after all these years. Why do you still find it fun after all this time? Has the "fun" angle changed for you since then?
