Strange? Indeed; Stanford Roommate Letter

Dear Roommate:

Since we are going to live together for a long time, I feel obliged to tell you something real about myself. According to my best friends, I am sometimes unbelievably strange, stubborn, and hypercritical. Therefore, unfortunately, you'd better be well prepared of all the possibilities.

Strange? Indeed. I remember how they looked at me when I shouted "I'm the king of the world" on the top of school's main building after finding a perfect actress for our drama. I also remember Bernard's face when I asked him whether he wanted to run a 5000-meter race with me wearing shorts on a winter day. (Stranger thing is that he accepted it.) And of course, I can recall how exactly everyone reacted when I began singing during my presentation-and guess what-everyone liked it!

Stubborn? Probably. Once made up, my mind will not change even if everyone else is against me. For this trait, I once spend two hours on an electromagnetic problem in the library at midnight, simply eager to prove my method worked, though painfully. It sounds stupid, but I enjoyed it.

Hypercritical? I prefer "hysterical perfectionism", assuming it as a natural characteristic of a director. I ask every member of our cast to repeat no matter how many times it takes to fulfill my demand. During rehearsals, I am a demon. I enjoy these nicknames pretty much, as well as I enjoy the play itself.

I'm not sure which part of me can be counted as one advantage. I guess I am just anything but boring. Tell me anything you want and I'm sure I will enjoy it as long as you do.

Whimsically but sincerely,
Will Sun

It is somehow strange and I'm not sure at all whether this will create a positive figure of me among the readers. Please offer your first impressions of me after reading this essay. And be as HARSH and SPECIFIC as you can. Also, I'm sure there will be some grammar mistakes. Please feel free to point them out! I'd be very glad to check your essays too!

I absolutely love it. After reading this essay, I really hope that I get into Stanford so that I can meet this amazing person who shares so many of my characteristics! It shows that you're spontaneous, outgoing, really friendly, quite ambitious and you take your work very seriously! Oh God, I need to improve my letter A LOT!

it is great that you tried your best to sound as real and honest as possible. but then again, you dont want to be too casual. afterall, the university officials will be the ones reading it.

I think it was great! Casual is fine for this essay, as it's not an essay at all, but a letter. There were some things I was confused about.

I didn't understand what you meant by "on top of the school's main building". Were you on the roof?
Also, just to clarify, I might say, "the drama that I was directing" or even "show". I would delete the part about your friend accepting your offer, as it seems to contradict his previously odd facial expression.

I was confused about "electromagnetic problem". Please clarify.
I would say, "and I assume this trait as..." rather than "assuming it as"
There shouldn't be a comma after "pretty much" (but I would delete "pretty much" anyway)
What does this mean: "I'm not sure which part of me can be counted as one advantage." If it means what I think it does, then I would replace "one advantage" with "advantageous" and make "part" plural, so it says, "I'm not sure which parts of me can be counted as advantageous"

I would replace the next sentence with "At least I'm not boring!"
Sentence "tell me any about..." doesn't make sense to me.

I like the tone, but the writing needs work.

Thank you sooooo much! I'm a non-native and your reply helped me a lot! Again thanks!!!!