My Struggle - My pursuit for happiness (University of Florida)

My Struggle

Looking back at the road, my conscious faintly leads me back to the grassy knolls of the great northwest. I remember that summer of 2000, standing ground on U.S. soil for the first time, there marks the spot for my journey to pursuit happiness.

The first four years living in Idaho establishes foundation for my future, there I learn to speak, read, write, and comprehend English. However, I'm always by my self, loneliness is my only friend after school, therefore, I strive to pursuit happiness. After years of living in the darkness, I cannot help from recalling the past, therefore, after four years, I returned to China. I thought I could find happiness there like before, but no, time has completely washed away my knowledge of Chinese, I struggled greatly at school; half-year later I returned to the States, but I was highly determined to relearn Chinese by self-teaching from the first grade text book, I wasn't willing to give up searching happiness in China. Half-year later, I went back again, I stayed there for a year, surprisingly my diligence of self-teaching paid off, but the happiness I'm searching is nowhere to be found. I suddenly fell in despair...

During the summer of 2005, I made my return to the States, this time I came to Florida; I thought a completely new place means a new beginning. Sadly, my unwillingness to stay in the States drove my mind to a state of depression. Even though I wasn't diagnosed until 2008, I knew that I'm depressed a long ago... Regardless of everything, during the summer of 2008, I made my final visit back to China, during my stay, I strongly refused to return to the States, in my heart, everything around me seems tormenting, it's such a dilemma, struggles and tears blew my mind of making a decision over the phone thousands of miles away. After many trouble, I ironically trusted my instincts accepted my parents' offer for my return to the States.

This is a true story told from me; after returning I was diagnosed with depression, went on medication over a period of one half year, happily now I made a full recovery, I guess I finally found my happiness, my happiness was within me the whole time, I just didn't know how to excavated.

Now, my heart isn't filled with darkness and despair, it is full of vitality and the will to live a happy life...
I just realized how important it is to be happy!

"Looking back at the road, my consciousness gently tugs me back to the grassy knolls of the great northwest. I remember that summer of 2000, standing ground on U.S. soil for the first time; there marks the spot for my journey to pursuit happiness."


The first two of these sentences are, oddly, in present tense. Then you change tenses in the middle of the third sentence. This undercuts the effect of an otherwise poignant story.

"During the summer of 2005, I made my return to the States; this time I came to Florida. I thought a completely new place meant a new beginning."

This is a moving tale. I hope other forum members will jump in to help you tell it as effectively as possible.

Hello! I greatly appreciate your work on my essay, and I'm still not sure if I should write the whole essay in present tense or past tense.

I don't understnad what kind of mood your trying to convey in paragraph two.


This is your lesson learned? What? How did you realize that happiness is important?


So how did you "excavate" it? Through taking lots of medicine?

Sp you were sad in China because of school, you were sad in the U.S because you were lonely. You were sad again in China because you forgot Chinese, then you got sad in U.S because you didn't want to come back. Then you were ok with going back to China, and the you were saddened by the prospect of coming back to the U.S. Then you took lots of medication. Then you got happy.

That's what I get from your story.

I'd go with mostly past tense, as most of what you describe happens in the past. This obviously doesn't apply to your intro, though.

Unless you are a very advanced writer, use past tense for the past and present tense for the present. Some writers sometimes use present tense when writing of the past to create a sense of immediacy, but this is difficult to do effectively and without error unless one is a very skilled and disciplined writer.

yea i know it seems as if my story is just about me going back and forth b/t china and the us, and thats what really happened, i just cant make up my mind after the first time i went back to china at 12, i really wanted to stay there cuz i felt i really belong there, but i wasnt able to cuz i cant keep up school there. so i had to come back to the us, but i didnt wanna come back cuz i dont like the how lonely it is here, and i cant get alone with my parents. so now towards the end, i did get depression and im fine now, and i dont think it is right to say i excavated happiness from taking a lot of pills, thats just cold. but basically the mood im trying to convey is that i was finally able to climb out the abyss and see the light again.

and really all im trying to do is express everything i been through in a compressed version, its just really hard when ur in another country and trying find the feeling of belonging there, yet u cant return to ur motherland cuz of the lack of skills to even attend school there, and so on... so at one time i felt like i didnt belong another, i was feeling like floating from here and there. like a little bird trying to find where is home.

I'm sorry but I'm forced to believe so since you give me no other reason.

So basically you felt like both places weren't really welcoming to you. I didn't feel like you were going anywhere with your essay. I understand that your strruggle but I don't understand how you finally found happiness.

it's alright, i asked some of my friends to read it, and they say it's kind of vague, that i need to be specific about how i got happy in the end. and thank you for your reference, and i think what you said is true.