Please help me improve this essay; any input is greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Boom. On the morning of September 11, 2001, the World Trade Center was attacked by terrorists, leading to the deaths of 3000 people and the start of a global war on terror. Being eight years old at the time, I did not fully understand the consequences this act of unprovoked violence would have. Yet the results of this catastrophe would completely change my life. Until that moment, I was a part of two worlds which peacefully coexisted without much tension. Yet suddenly, a violent clash of cultures sparked conflict between Islam and America. Since that day, my religion and I have been insulted in almost every possible way. My religion has been called violent, my home country has been called a state sponsor of terrorism, and I have been called a terrorist. Yet despite these accusations, and perhaps because of them, I am proud to be a part of these two cultures. My experiences have helped me to develop a stronger personality than I would have had otherwise. I have developed a character which refuses to be broken down, a character which cannot be destroyed. It is this character which has urged me to continue where I otherwise might have faltered. It is this disposition which caused me to persevere both in my academic life and in my social life. It is this personality that has formed my dreams and ambitions.
Ever since my eighth grade teacher caused me to develop a passion in the physical sciences, I have known I want to study something related to science in the future. When I began high school, I had yet to confine my objective into a specific branch of science. I knew I had to personally experience the different fields of science before making a choice. After taking AP Biology and Honors Chemistry, I decided they were not for me, and eventually ended up in Physics. AP Physics B is arguably the most challenging course at my high school. One must not only memorize hundreds of formulas, but must also be able to understand abstract concepts with enough comprehension to apply these formulas in ways which are not immediately obvious. Problems on the tests are often so utterly different from the problems we do in class and the homework problems that many students believe it to be impossible to solve them. Yet I strive to solve these problems no matter how difficult they seem. Even if it requires me to spend much of the designated time staring at the problem, waiting for a solution to present itself, I do everything I possibly can to unravel the connections between the problems and my knowledge. I refuse to give up on the physics problems just like I refused to give up on my religion. I know that the obstacles preventing me from finding the answer to the physics problems are miniscule compared to the obstacles I have faced ever since the attacks on the World Trade Center. If I have conquered the latter, then I know that I can overcome the former much easier. Yet if I had not conquered the latter, if I had given up on my religion, if I had wavered when determining where I stood in relation to the two worlds I was a part of, if any of those had happened, I know that I could never have had the determination and willpower I possess today.
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Boom. On the morning of September 11, 2001, the World Trade Center was attacked by terrorists, leading to the deaths of 3000 people and the start of a global war on terror. Being eight years old at the time, I did not fully understand the consequences this act of unprovoked violence would have. Yet the results of this catastrophe would completely change my life. Until that moment, I was a part of two worlds which peacefully coexisted without much tension. Yet suddenly, a violent clash of cultures sparked conflict between Islam and America. Since that day, my religion and I have been insulted in almost every possible way. My religion has been called violent, my home country has been called a state sponsor of terrorism, and I have been called a terrorist. Yet despite these accusations, and perhaps because of them, I am proud to be a part of these two cultures. My experiences have helped me to develop a stronger personality than I would have had otherwise. I have developed a character which refuses to be broken down, a character which cannot be destroyed. It is this character which has urged me to continue where I otherwise might have faltered. It is this disposition which caused me to persevere both in my academic life and in my social life. It is this personality that has formed my dreams and ambitions.
Ever since my eighth grade teacher caused me to develop a passion in the physical sciences, I have known I want to study something related to science in the future. When I began high school, I had yet to confine my objective into a specific branch of science. I knew I had to personally experience the different fields of science before making a choice. After taking AP Biology and Honors Chemistry, I decided they were not for me, and eventually ended up in Physics. AP Physics B is arguably the most challenging course at my high school. One must not only memorize hundreds of formulas, but must also be able to understand abstract concepts with enough comprehension to apply these formulas in ways which are not immediately obvious. Problems on the tests are often so utterly different from the problems we do in class and the homework problems that many students believe it to be impossible to solve them. Yet I strive to solve these problems no matter how difficult they seem. Even if it requires me to spend much of the designated time staring at the problem, waiting for a solution to present itself, I do everything I possibly can to unravel the connections between the problems and my knowledge. I refuse to give up on the physics problems just like I refused to give up on my religion. I know that the obstacles preventing me from finding the answer to the physics problems are miniscule compared to the obstacles I have faced ever since the attacks on the World Trade Center. If I have conquered the latter, then I know that I can overcome the former much easier. Yet if I had not conquered the latter, if I had given up on my religion, if I had wavered when determining where I stood in relation to the two worlds I was a part of, if any of those had happened, I know that I could never have had the determination and willpower I possess today.
