Please help? Suggestions for changes that I should make? Thank you in advance! :)
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.250 words minimum.
Time slowly ticked as I waited outside the building for the results to be posted. The only thing I could do now was to sit patiently as I stared at my watch with the hope of magically changing the time to 3:45PM. The gap between the seconds seemed like eternity. The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my heart which seemed to beat faster and faster as the wait time drew to a close.
My watch stroke 3:45PM and as I turned around, Ms. Frazee, my Calculus and Leadership teacher, came with the results on her hands. She approached a crowd of students, who were also awaiting the results, almost as anxious as I was to see who had won.
I tried to calm myself down and my mind drifted back weeks earlier in which I was standing on a stage in front of about 400 people. It was my turn to make my speech and this was the first impression I was making on the rest of the student body and I knew it had to be impressive.
With confidence, I stepped forward and told the crowd, "Good morning everyone! My name is Jamie Bondoc, class of 2010, and a running candidate for student-body President. You need a leader. A friend. A voice. So before you vote, ask your self 'Who is Jamie Bondoc and how will she help me?'"
As Ms. Frazee moved out of the way, in bold letters, the paper on the window read "First Student-body President, Jamie Bondoc." It was over. It was real.
I could not believe that I was the same shy Asian girl with glasses who came into Camino Nuevo not knowing a single person. Back then, I was intimidated by the fact that everyone already had their own little group of friends and I had none.
I felt that it was impossible to create new bonds because everyone knew each other since the second grade. I was, however, up for the challenge. It wasn't the first time in my life that I was the "outsider". It felt like seventh grade all over where I was the new girl.
Although I attend a small school, people still did not know of me prior to the election. I set up a campaign by bombarding my school campus with "Who is Jamie Bondoc ?" posters and flyers which spread my name like a wildfire. I answered their question when I finally introduced myself during the speech that I made.
The position of student-body president is not only a title for me, but rather an opportunity for me to help shape my school culture. Becoming president not only gave me a chance to voice out my opinions, but also helped me to represent others. It gave me the chance to let others see my genuine passion about lending out my hand to others the same way that I was helped out throughout my high school career. The close-knit environment that my school already had made it easier to get others involved as well. I came to Camino Nuevo as a shy, introverted person not knowing a single soul on campus, yet when I walk across the stage in June, I will leave knowing four-hundred times that.
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.250 words minimum.
Time slowly ticked as I waited outside the building for the results to be posted. The only thing I could do now was to sit patiently as I stared at my watch with the hope of magically changing the time to 3:45PM. The gap between the seconds seemed like eternity. The only sound I could hear was the pounding of my heart which seemed to beat faster and faster as the wait time drew to a close.
My watch stroke 3:45PM and as I turned around, Ms. Frazee, my Calculus and Leadership teacher, came with the results on her hands. She approached a crowd of students, who were also awaiting the results, almost as anxious as I was to see who had won.
I tried to calm myself down and my mind drifted back weeks earlier in which I was standing on a stage in front of about 400 people. It was my turn to make my speech and this was the first impression I was making on the rest of the student body and I knew it had to be impressive.
With confidence, I stepped forward and told the crowd, "Good morning everyone! My name is Jamie Bondoc, class of 2010, and a running candidate for student-body President. You need a leader. A friend. A voice. So before you vote, ask your self 'Who is Jamie Bondoc and how will she help me?'"
As Ms. Frazee moved out of the way, in bold letters, the paper on the window read "First Student-body President, Jamie Bondoc." It was over. It was real.
I could not believe that I was the same shy Asian girl with glasses who came into Camino Nuevo not knowing a single person. Back then, I was intimidated by the fact that everyone already had their own little group of friends and I had none.
I felt that it was impossible to create new bonds because everyone knew each other since the second grade. I was, however, up for the challenge. It wasn't the first time in my life that I was the "outsider". It felt like seventh grade all over where I was the new girl.
Although I attend a small school, people still did not know of me prior to the election. I set up a campaign by bombarding my school campus with "Who is Jamie Bondoc ?" posters and flyers which spread my name like a wildfire. I answered their question when I finally introduced myself during the speech that I made.
The position of student-body president is not only a title for me, but rather an opportunity for me to help shape my school culture. Becoming president not only gave me a chance to voice out my opinions, but also helped me to represent others. It gave me the chance to let others see my genuine passion about lending out my hand to others the same way that I was helped out throughout my high school career. The close-knit environment that my school already had made it easier to get others involved as well. I came to Camino Nuevo as a shy, introverted person not knowing a single soul on campus, yet when I walk across the stage in June, I will leave knowing four-hundred times that.
