Hello all, here is my UPenn professor essay. Critiques would be helpful!! :D
Penn offers its undergraduates an eminent faculty and a wealth of research opportunities. Use the space below to name a Penn professor with whom you would like to study or conduct research and explain why. (It is not our expectation that you contact faculty directly to answer this question.)
I have this eternal love for teachers who continuously stimulate the student's mind, teach beyond the syllabus, and promote independent learning. Such teachers are also very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies. Professor Angela Gibney seems to be the right fit for me. Her position as a pre-major advisor for freshmen, conference co-organizer clearly demonstrates several favorable qualities such as genuinely caring for students, high organizational skills, and allowing students to relentlessly stretch their limits. I hope that, just like my high school maths teacher, she will provide me with sets and sets of problems so that I can sustain my genuine love for mathematics.
I have a eternal love for teachers who continuously stimulate the student's mind, teach beyond the syllabus, and promote independent learning. Such teachers are usually very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies.
...
I hope that, just like my high school math teacher, she will provide me with sets and sets of problems so that I can sustain my genuine love for mathematics.
You might want to put in more of how the Professor you chose fits the category of "continuously stimulating student's mind."
Any more critique?
(Btw, I'm from a British school so I naturally use maths)
Although the last sentence is nice, I don't think you need it. Try to focus on why you would like to study with Professor Angela Gibney.
"Her position as a pre-major advisor for freshmen, conference co-organizer clearly demonstrates several favorable...."
I'm not sure how the bold part is suppose to fit, but it sounds awkward.
I think think essay is very solid. Just one point.
Such teachers are also very approachable, which I find to be very important in one's studies.
If I were you, I would concisely explain why I think it is important.
