Hello, I would please like feedback on my essay and clarity on whether or not I answered the prompt. Any help is greatly appreciated
Prompt: What is important to you? Why?
Success had always been important to me because it represented accomplishment and respect. As a central value in my culture, it was seen as the best way to make your family proud. As a result, the need to achieve was instilled in me at a very young age. Before I did anything I used to think, "Will it make others think more highly of me?" or "Am I more likely to get an award or recognition if I did this?".
For years, this fuelled my perfectionism and kept me at the top of my class until the start of my grade 11 year, when I heard I wouldn't be receiving an award for my classes in the previous year. As a result, my entire worldview collapsed. It didn't matter that I still made High Honour roll or that my average had increased from the previous year; I thought I was a failure. This challenged me to reevaluate why success mattered to me and whether I was solely seeking validation from others.
Despite this, I worked to change my perspective and remained resilient. I realized that much of my self-worth was rooted in external measures of success and while they can be helpful motivators, they should not be my sole driving force. I also learned that in order to sustain myself as a student, I need to have internal motivation so even when there isn't any chance for recognition, I can count on myself to do the work and put in the effort just as much as if there were. Now, I feel happier with my work than when I was looking forward to things that would validate my efforts and realized that when I focused on the work that I did and what I learned from it, I felt more fulfilled and interested in what I was learning, and it didn't feel like a means to an end.
I still believe that success is the most important thing to me but now it is because it represents my personal growth and pride and contentment in my work.
Prompt: What is important to you? Why?
Success had always been important to me because it represented accomplishment and respect. As a central value in my culture, it was seen as the best way to make your family proud. As a result, the need to achieve was instilled in me at a very young age. Before I did anything I used to think, "Will it make others think more highly of me?" or "Am I more likely to get an award or recognition if I did this?".
For years, this fuelled my perfectionism and kept me at the top of my class until the start of my grade 11 year, when I heard I wouldn't be receiving an award for my classes in the previous year. As a result, my entire worldview collapsed. It didn't matter that I still made High Honour roll or that my average had increased from the previous year; I thought I was a failure. This challenged me to reevaluate why success mattered to me and whether I was solely seeking validation from others.
Despite this, I worked to change my perspective and remained resilient. I realized that much of my self-worth was rooted in external measures of success and while they can be helpful motivators, they should not be my sole driving force. I also learned that in order to sustain myself as a student, I need to have internal motivation so even when there isn't any chance for recognition, I can count on myself to do the work and put in the effort just as much as if there were. Now, I feel happier with my work than when I was looking forward to things that would validate my efforts and realized that when I focused on the work that I did and what I learned from it, I felt more fulfilled and interested in what I was learning, and it didn't feel like a means to an end.
I still believe that success is the most important thing to me but now it is because it represents my personal growth and pride and contentment in my work.